Fatality in the Dark
by WritingChicago
Summary: "You know when Jay came back... I wasn't there for him. The only one he had was Mouse. Believe it or not, he was the one who dragged Jay home...what he was going through..." Through what? That's the story...but what if Jay's predicament was in present time? What if we knew what Jay went through and how Mouse and the others brought their friend back from the dark? Chapter 22 up now!
1. Phone Call

**A/N: Hey, everyone! First off, yes a new story! EEK! I'm so excited, I hope this story goes all the way. I have so many awesome ideas for this story.**

 **Second off, last episode of Chicago PD...I DIED! Babe cried and so did I! It was so emotional and just so heartbreaking! Damn that episode was great! I loved the Jay Centric.**

 **Anyways, enjoy the new story, and tell me what you think afterwards and if you have any ideas!**

 **(P.S. I did as much research and learning as I could on the military, etc. So I don't know how good it'll be! Lol! But I've done my best for you! I love you all!)**

 **2012:**

A knock at the door told Jay to get up off the couch for a change. Usually after work he needed a beer and some television and then some sleep.

He got up off the couch and set his beer on the coffee table.

He walked to the door and opened it to see Antonio.

"Oh, hey, Tony." Jay said, holding the door open. Antonio was a friend way before either of them even worked at the district. So was Intelligence, since Antonio worked in that unit. For now, Jay was only an officer.

"Come on in." Jay gestured and Antonio stepped in.

"Thought I'd come and have drink with ya!" Antonio said, as he held up a six pack of beer.

"Good thinking, man." Jay replied as he closed the door behind Antonio. They sat down on the couch as a rerun of a football game played. Antonio set the six pack on the coffee table before taking one and sitting back on the couch as Jay did the same with his beer.

"So, the main reason I came here is...you wanted Intelligence...you got Intelligence." Antonio said, sipping his beer.

"You're serious?" Jay said surprised, sitting forward.

"Yup. Got enough up Voight's ass to get you in. You better appreciate it, kid."

"Damn right I do. Thanks, man."

"No problem. I got your back."

 **January, 2015:**

Intelligence sat in the bullpen in the morning, waiting for Voight to come out of his office with some new information. They were hoping to finally get into a case soon.

Everyone chatted amongst themselves. Talking about the day when they'd see Ruzek pick a fight a big guy. Or Antonio pulling his back out on a foot chase. Seeing Jay got a call, as his phone buzzed, everyone looked. They were all still smiling from the moment before.

Jay looked at the screen. It was a collar I.D. Jay had recognized many times in the past. The smirk he had from before gradually disappeared from his face, leaving with an open mouth and stunned eyes.

"I-I gotta take this." Jay said under his breath, turning his chair around to get up as he walked to the break room.

"Who is it?" Antonio asked. But, he didn't reply, and he held the phone up to his ear. Any communication wasn't audible when he was in the other room, even though he could see his mouth moving.

Antonio looked over at Mouse. They both had a sneaking suspicion of what the call could be about. But, at the same time had no clue.

Inside the room, Jay prepared for the worst.

" ...Hello?" Jay took a second to answer.

 _"Lieutenant Halstead? It's General Seargent Ferris…"_

"Yes. General. How can I help you?"

 _"Lieutenant, it's been a while. I know this is sudden. But, there's conflict going on in Afghanistan. You're needed, as well as Lieutenant Gurwitch. We know you've been working in the same police District for a while. We thought we'd call for both of you."_

"F-for how long?"

 _"Three tours. Hopefully it won't be as long as we think I'm sorry for the sudden news. We were going to send you a letter...but, I thought it'd be better to call."_

"I-It's fine. When should we be ready?"

 _"One week. See you soon, Lieutenant Halstead."_

"Of course. See you then."

The General Sergeant hung up before Jay even took the phone away from his ear. He stood there stunned.

The next thing the team saw was Jay holding the phone at his side in his left hand. With his right, he caressed his hand through his hair and to his neck, and off his cheek.

His eyes were shocked, guilty, upset, angry.

He walked toward the doorway with his head down as he stared at the phone. At the end call screen, the number.

Voight walked out of his office to see everyone desperately waiting and looking in Jay's direction. Voight looked at Jay.

"Jay, what's wrong?" Erin asked.

"Mouse...they need us...to come back. Three tours." Jay breathed out. He looked at the floor, and tried to avoid everything at the moment.

Everyone knew what he meant.

"Jay…" Antonio tried, everyone turned the light out in their eyes.

"We leave in one week." Jay explained.

It was a little too hard to continue with the day with this.

To be continued...


	2. I Won't Forget Them

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I missed the update day! Little busy, but you don't need to hear my excuses! You need your fanfic! I just robbed you of it how dare me!**

 **Anyways, here is the first update for today! I will probably post another chapter and update LDFTE, too. This chapter is a little short, but I'll post another. Enjoy!**

"Jay, what's wrong?" Erin asked.

"Mouse...they need us to come back. Three tours." Jay breathed out. He looked at the floor, and tried to avoid everything at the moment.

Everyone knew what he meant.

"Jay…" Antonio tried, everyone turned the light out in their eyes.

"We leave in one week." Jay explained.

It was a little too hard to continue with the day with this.

To be continued...

At the District:

It was the day of Jay and Mouse's departure. They'd been dressed in their camouflage already when they visited the District before they left.

They said farewell to Platt, of course. They said goodbye to the Commander.

They needed to say goodbye to their fellow officers.

They needed to say goodbye...to their team.

They were all like brothers and sister to them. Through thick and thin.

Everyone was happy, trying to show the bright side of the departure. No one really knew what it was, but it had to be something.

"We love all of you," Mouse smirked,"Never forget that."

"And never forget that those desks are going to no one else." Voight said, pointing to Halstead's desk.

"We'll be back for them." Jay replied. He stood silent for a minute, looking at the ground, seeming too emotional to speak.

Voight walked closer to Jay and put his hand on Jay's shoulder from behind. And it seemed like the greatest moment when the whole team gathered in for a group hug.

They let away, to reveal a tear running down Jay's face.

"Come on, big guys like you don't cry." Mouse said, wiping away the tear with his thumb.

"Anyone seen Erin?" Jay remarked, looking at Erin next to him. She punched him, and smiled, not rejecting the fact that she was a wreck.

"We're gonna miss you, guys." Ruzek said, as him and Atwater give them a bro hug.

"See ya, Alvin. You've always been there." Jay said, hugging Alvin. He smiled back at him.

Then, he walked over to Antonio.

"You better come back quick. My beers might not be able to last that long." Antonio said. Jay chuckled, with a grin. It gradually erased from his face when a tear decided to run down again.

"Come on here." Antonio said, pulling him into a long hug,"You got this."

He held out his fist, and Jay did as well, and they collided, putting a smile on both of their faces. Antonio patted his arm before he walked over to Erin and Voight.

"You're a mess, huh?" Jay said, looking at Erin, who was probably more an emotional wreck than Jay it seemed.

"Shut up. I love you, dude." Erin said, punching him, then turning it into a hug.

"We're gonna miss you here. Hurry back." Voight said.

Jay walked towards the stairs again next to Mouse and turned around.

"We'll be thinking about all of you. When things get though...we'll be thinking about coming home." Jay said.

He turned back to the stairs and walked away from the bullpen with his brother.

They walked outside where Will was waiting to take them to the airport, but stopped at footsteps behind them.

"Jay!" It was Erin. She was walking toward Jay, then began running towards him. She didn't stop until she hit his body, and he captured her in his embrace. After a moment, she let go and grabbed his cheeks, pulling his face toward hers as she smashed her lips into his.

"I love you so much. Please come back." She said, pressing her forehead against his.

"I will. This isn't goodbye."

"You promise me, Jay Halstead."

"...I promise," He whispered back,"...I love you, too."

They'd be back.

Think if the team.

Their team. Their family.

That family...was Intelligence.

To be continued...


	3. Every Second

**A/N: Here's the next update for today! Enjoy this. I'm sorry these are a little short. You're in for a treat next chapter!**

They walked outside where Will was waiting to take them to the airport, but stopped at footsteps behind them.

"Jay!" It was Erin. She was walking toward Jay, then began running towards him. She didn't stop until she hit his body, and he captured her in his embrace. After a moment, she let go and grabbed his cheeks, pulling his face toward hers as she smashed her lips into his.

"I love you so much. Please come back." She said, pressing her forehead against his.

"I will. This isn't goodbye."

"You promise me, Jay Halstead."

"...I promise," He whispered back,"...I love you, too."

They'd be back.

Think if the team.

Their team. Their family.

That family...was Intelligence.

To be continued...

Four Months Later:

Jay's POV:

Time was able to fly by, but events didn't. Horror didn't. Gunshots didn't.

War didn't.

"I'll be there when you get off that plane. I know you will…." Were Will's words before I left.

That's what I thought about.

Home.

Family.

Safety.

Normalcy.

A safe haven.

But, I wasn't there. I needed to focus.

The first tour usually called for the same thing. It began as sitting atop the roof for me.

I'd see Mouse sitting on a building nearby like me.

We are lieutenants. We need to not only watch for the enemy, but we had to watch our men on the ground. Listen in on the radio. All at the same time. It was only the start.

I looked through the scope of my gun, which was set on a stand. It pointed out in the open. Shoddy buildings scattered around.

Some of my men were up on the roof as well. Some were scouting around the area. Some inside, there for the wounded or there with technology for detecting things. Some were protecting the building.

Some were riding in humvees around the area. Helping any wounded soldiers, or even searching for allies.

Up on the roof, I looked through my rifle scope, switching from place to place on the roof.

Continually walking around the roof, as well as my men. We needed to keep and eye everywhere.

Around, we could see other men on other buildings. Watching like hawks themselves.

Me, on the southwest corner of the roof. My heart began to race suddenly, as I saw a man appear at the corner of a building His back was turned to my scope.

I breathed in and out, getting ready for what I had to do.

I realized what the man was looking at, a girl. A young girl.

The man put his large gun up, barrel facing the girl.

I needed to stop him. I needed to shoot.

Getting ready, I breathed in and out, feeling my body slightly tremble from the rush. I cocked his gun and slowly slid my finger to the trigger.

Before I knew it, I slowly squeezed the trigger, hearing the bullet ricochet, feeling the knock back.

Seconds later, the bullet had dropped the man, and his gun.

The girl looked over.

I could tell she was terrified beyond all.

She looked around. Seeing it was clear, she ran across the open area to the man who was dropped by my bullet.

She examined the body.

I could tell, the girl knew she wasn't safe. She had no protection. She had no knowledge of what to do. She was alone.

She needed to protect herself.

Grabbing the gun was what she wanted to do.

But, as duty called for, if she grabbed the gun, I would have to use mine.

I watched her.

Damn it! I thought.

Don't pick it up. Don't. Don't pick it up.

The girl reached down for the large gun.

She struggled to lift and finally doing it she looked around.

I cocked my gun.

Please, no. I don't want to do this...

Almost like telepathy, the girl knew, and she set the gun down. She ran.

I uncocked his gun, and sighed with relief.

"Thank god." I whispered.

But like I said, it's only the first tour….

To be continued...


	4. Praying For You, Buddy

**A/N: DON'T KILL ME I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN LIKE FOR-DAMN-EVER! You're probably wondering where I've been? I've been in the land of softball practice and test studying! I've been writing though I haven't forgotten about you guys! I will try to update more often. I'm sorry though omg. I hope you enjoy this chapter, there is more to come! This and the next one are intense I can tell you that much!** He watched her.

 _Damn it._

 _I thought._

 _Don't pick it up. Don't. Don't pick it up._

 _The girl reached down. For the large gun._

 _She struggled._

 _She looked around._

 _I cocked my gun._

 _Please, no. I don't want to do this..._

 _Almost like telepathy, the girl knew, and she set the gun down. She ran._

 _I uncocked his gun, and sighed with relief._

 _"Thank god." I whispered._

 _But like I said, it's only the first tour…._

 _To be continued..._

 **Mouse's POV:**

I sat on a shoddy building top, not too far from Jay. I could see him. We would look over at each other and nod that we were doing good.

He was what I was fighting for. Even if we were separated, I thought of him. He's my brother.

For sure.

Sitting on the roof, I looked around at the bleak town. It was so empty.

But it was only a matter of time before I'd fall into that feeling of emptiness and then see a sniper running towards the shelter.

It's unusual that the area would go silent. But for a while it did. The sun disappeared behind the clouds. No snipers ran. It seemed like they disappeared.

We got them all?

No. Never.

I haven't heard anything on the radio about hidden snipers in houses or hidden as victims.

It was only a matter of time before I heard two big booms behind me.

My eyes widened. My heart jumped, skipping a beat. I turned around to see smoke, dust, sand, and debris surrounding the shelter.

It came hard to breathe, and to see. The atmosphere turned heavy.

I saw almost nothing. Like the shelter just disappeared.

The first thought that shot into my head...was Jay.

He was there on the building.

Oh god.

I pulled my gun off the stand and ran over to the other side of the building. I stood there, using my eyes as well as I could to see through the dust.

I heard nothing on the radio. I only heard the dust settling on the ground, grain by grain.

As it settled, I saw what I never wanted to.

Outfits of black ran towards the building with guns in their hands. I knew it was the snipers. I should have seen this coming.

I cocked my gun quickly, and began to shoot.

They were invading.

I heard a call on the radio from one of the other lieutenants.

I payed no attention, I already knew what was happening.

I tried my best to shoot down who I could as they swarmed around the building.

The dust swirled in the air, and I stopped to look through, scouting for Jay.

I couldn't see a damn thing.

"Jay, do you copy?" I radioed.

Nothing.

"Halstead?! Are you okay? Do you copy?!" I tried again. I listened in for a response, searched for him. As the smoke crumbled to the ground, all I saw was his gun on the stand.

Suddenly, behind me I heard a grunt, the fall of a man.

One of my men.

I dropped my gun and ran to his side. It was Jensen.

"Hey, hey, stay with me. Jensen, stay with me. We're gonna get you out of here." I assured him. It was his shoulder. I put pressure on it, as I panicked and searched around for another man.

I radioed about the wounded brother, and suddenly I felt quick hands tap me. I looked over and noticed another soldier waiting to carry Jensen. So I acted quickly and grabbed his legs and we carried him away.

We got outside, and there was a humvee waiting for us.

We needed to be fast and sneaky, that's what we did.

We loaded him into the back of the Humvee where there were other men there to take him.

In good hands, I shut the doors and let them take him to safety.

I focused my attention once again to Jay.

I looked around, and noticed a sniper that had been dropped.

His gun was like mine. I made sure it was clear before I ran over to grab it. For my safety.

I picked up the gun, as mine sat on the roof without me.

Not a good thing, but I need to move on.

I hurried to get inside the shelter.

I rushed past the chaos inside. There was commotion all over now.

It wasn't silent anymore.

I made my way up to the roof, where there were many soldiers up there, shooting down the invaders.

I looked around, before I remembered the direction that Jay faced with his gun.

I ran towards the area, and noticed a figure lying on the ground.

It was him.

I dropped the gun once again and rushed to his side.

The dusty and sandy air settled even more, and made it easier to breathe, and to see.

He was laying on his side, facing the short wall that surrounded the roof.

I was on my knees as I turned him over onto his back.

It was a small space, because of the small platform that stuck up on the roof next to where Jay was. Half him laid on my lap, as pulled him close in my embrace.

His eyes were closed and his face was matted with the dust that had filled the air.

"Jay? Jay, come on?! Can you hear me? Wake up, bud!" I rambled in a panic.

I tapped his cheek in attempt to wake him up.

I felt like breaking down at this point.

Not now. Not ever. It was only the first tour. This couldn't be happening.

Suddenly his greenish, blue eyes opened. They were bright and they definitely brightened me up to know he was awake. But I just needed to know if he was okay.

He fluttered his eyes, and grunted like he was in pain.

"Jay? Jay, take it easy. Are you okay?" I asked again, with some level of relief.

"...Dizzy…" he whispered.

Concussion. He might have a concussion.

"Alright, alright. It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna get you out of here. Just stay with me, Jay."

 _To be continued…._


	5. The Flashback of Silence

**A/N: Hey, everyone! Sorry it's been taking me so long to update! It's Spring and softball began, exams began, voice and piano have been going on, sleep has began! Haha!**

 **Anyways, you don't to hear ny excuses, you want some fanfiction!**

 **First, you may have noticed I changed some dates in the earlier chapters. It started it as Jay getting the call in January of 2015. Then it goes from there. I will try to add the months some more too, to keep not just you, but me on track with the time! I wanted to make it so there was no heading into 2017 really at all. I'm not really into those kinds of time lapses I guess. But, this will work out.**

 **Second, do me a solid...when you get to it...PLEASE READ THE ITALICS! It's very important to the plot. I know some people may like to skip over flashbacks, but you must read this one!**

 **Enjoy, friends!**

I _felt like breaking down at this point._

 _Not now. Not ever. It was only the first tour._

 _Suddenly his greenish, blue eyes opened. They were bright and they definitely brightened me up to know he was awake. But I just needed to know if he was okay._

 _He fluttered his eyes, and grunted like he was in pain._

" _Jay? Jay, take it easy. Are you okay?" I asked again, with some level of relief._

" _...Dizzy…" he whispered._

 _Concussion. He might have a concussion._

" _Alright, alright. It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna get you out of here. Just stay with me, Jay."_

 _To be continued…._

 **Nobody's POV:**

Mouse sat in a chair next to Jay's bed. It was silent, and the heart monitor beeped. The pulse ox monitor was clipped on his finger. An IV ran in his arm.

Mouse couldn't stop thinking of it all.

" _Alright, alright. It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna get you out of here. Just stay with me, Jay." Mouse said. He was in a panic. His heart pounded. His eyes were wide and scared._

 _Having no choice, he had to pull Jay off the ground and walk him._

" _Alright, Jay. You gotta get up for me. You're gonna be alright, but you gotta get up for me, alright?"_

" _Y-yeah." He replied dazily. Mouse helped Jay sit up, pulling Jay's arm over him._

" _Alright, alright… 1, 2, 3." Mouse counted, pulling Jay up off the ground on three. Jay grunted in pain. He was nauseous, dizzy, disoriented._

 _But, he had to get out of there. He relied on the comforting support of Mouse to get him out. He didn't know how much longer he could take._

 _They made their way down the small set of stairs to the bottom._

 _That's when his vision began to collapse. Black spots danced around as the scene in front of him became blurred. It clashed, and his stomach began to churn. The weakness got to him._

 _Right as they touched the last step, the nausea took over, causing him to give up anything in his stomach._

 _Mouse looked at Jay as he began to collapse slowly downward as he emptied everything in his stomach._

 _Mouse pulled his hand away from Jay's arm that was wrapped around his shoulders. He put his hand on Jay's chest, and tried to keep him upwards, as he fell._

 _As Jay stopped coughing, his body became weak and limp. He crumbled to the ground completely. Mouse moved Jay's body to the side as it fell and kept him up on the rail of the stairs._

 _His head fell, as Mouse caught it, and tried to keep him awake._

" _Hey, hey, hey. Jay?! Come on, wake up, it's okay. Come on!" Mouse shouted, trying to keep him awake._

 _Jay was pale and unconscious._

 _Suddenly, light shined through for a moment, and was blocked by something. Mouse looked up._

 _It was the General Sergeant. Thank god._

" _Lieutenant!" He said, as he hurried over._

" _We need to get him out of here." Mouse said._

" _There's a Humvee outside, we'll get him in there." The General said._

" _Alright...okay." Mouse replied. He was out of it. He was in a panic. All he wanted was his brother safe and okay._

" _Hey, he's gonna be okay. Alright?" The General assured him, and he nodded back. Gunshots rang through through the atmosphere, commotion of movement and talking._

 _Chaos._

 _Mouse snapped out of thinking of that reality and focused on Jay. He stood up, and worked himself to lift Jay from under his arms. The General took his legs from the aide, and the carried him out quickly and too the waiting Humvee._

 _They shut the doors, as Mouse and the General climbed in._

 _It was dark, with no windows, but it was safer. The Humvee took off._

 _The darkness allowed Jay to avoid the light._

 _It was the three of them, hopeffuly they would reach safety soon._

 _Jay needed help._

 _Few times during the ride, Jay would crack his eyes open, only to the blurry vision._

 _It only led him to another fit of coughing up small portions of whatever he had._

 _Mouse held half of Jay's body on his lap. Holding him slightly up in his arms, so if he coughed anything up, Mouse could help him._

 _The whole time he held his brother in his embrace._

" _You're okay,"Mouse assured him in a whisper,"it's gonna be okay."_

Jay woke up, disoriented, but feeling well rested.

He was in a dimmed room, luckily, he didn't need to squint at a bright light. He noticed through the closed, white blinds, darkness shone through. It was nighttime.

He'd been out for a while, he thought.

He looked to his right, and noticed Mouse right next to him in a chair.

He felt the cool sheets and blankets. All the same color. It was comforting. Familiar.

Hospital.

He was in the hospital.

But he didn't mind. It was quiet and felt the safest haven he could retreat too.

Mouse was awake in the chair next to him.

No one could miss the attention-grabbing color in Jay's eyes.

Mouse stood up and gave Jay a small relief.

"You scared the hell outta me, soldier." Mouse said, putting a hand lightly on Jay's shoulder.

"Sorry." He whispered with a raspy voice.

"Doc said you got a pretty bad blow to the head. You got a concussion, probably be in here for a few days."

"W-what happened?"

"Couple of IEDs went off near the shelter. Blew the place to chaos."

"Are y-you okay?" He rasped again.

"Don't worry. I'm okay…before I came to you, Jensen, took a bullet to the shoulder. Last I heard he's doing good. How you feeling?"

"Head…is killing me."

"I'd be surprised if it wasn't. You'll be fine, brother. Anything starts bothering you, make sure you tell someone."

"M'kay."

"Get some rest now." Mouse said, and allowed Jay to drift off to a serenity of sleep.

" _You stay with him no matter what, you hear?"_ Were the words of the General Sergeant. He was sure to stick to them.

 _To be continued…._


	6. Cheers!

**A/N: PLEASE READ! I'm getting caught up with the story for Looking Down From the Edge and I need some idea of what you want to see when Jay wakes up! I have a little writers block, I'm wondering what you'd like! So, please review or PM me your suggestions and feel free to comment about this story too! Enjoy!**

" _W-what happened?"_

" _Couple of IEDs went off near the shelter. Blew the place to chaos."_

" _Are y-you okay?" He rasped again._

" _Don't worry. I'm okay…before I came to you, Jensen, took a bullet to the shoulder. Last I heard he's doing good. How you feeling?"_

" _Head…is killing me."_

" _I'd be surprised if it wasn't. You'll be fine, brother. Anything starts bothering you, make sure you tell someone."_

" _M'kay."_

" _Get some rest now." Mouse said, and allowed Jay to drift off to a serenity of sleep._

" _You stay with him no matter what, you hear?" Were the words of the General Sergeant. He was sure to stick to them._

 _To be continued…._

 **Two Months Later:**

Today was the day they were coming back. To Chicago. They could see their family. Intelligence. Without face chatting or calling. They could see each other without gunshots getting in their way or an IED going off.

The plane was filled with a few other soldiers going their way as well. But, they were the first stop. Chicago.

They got off the plane finally, after hours and hours of flying from early in the morning. It was almost completely dark.

Exiting the flight gate, they walked into the familiar airport they knew. Walking a little while farther, they noticed a familiar face.

Will Halstead.

He smiled when he noticed them, still dressed in camouflage. He walked to them as they did the same. Meeting in the middle, him and Jay immediately collided into a tight brother hug. It felt good. Safe.

"Hey, brother!" Will said, with a small, happy chuckle. He let go of Jay, and turned to Mouse to do the same.

"How are you, guys?" Will asked.

"Could be better, but we've managed." Jay said, with Mouse nodding to that answer as well.

"In your positioned I'd say the same thing...I missed you guys."

"So did we. Chicago in general. Everyone." Mouse said.

"How 'bout we go to Molly's for a beer or two, huh?" Will said, pointing over his shoulder.

"I'm in." Mouse said, and Jay nodding along. They began walking with their luggage behind Will to the car.

About an hour drive and they'll be in the heart of the city.

Damn...what a beautiful city.

Driving for a while, it eventually started to become familiar. Home. Finally. Driving even further, they reached Molly's.

Will parked on the street, and they got out of the car. Pulling out his wallet, he stood next to the parking meter.

"Gotta pay for the price of such a beautiful city, huh?" Will said.

"It's worth it." Jay replied.

After paying, Will walked towards the door, Mouse and Jay walked in after. It was dark inside, and there were only whispers. But, just as Jay and Mouse had time to give each other odd looks, the lights came up,and the crowd roared together.

"Welcome home!" Everyone shouted. Everyone! Their family! Even Voight was there...shocker!

Their closest friends from their neighbors at Firehouse 51, Chicago Med, and everyone from District 21. Their home.

A smile shot on everyone's faces. It was perfect.

Everyone pulled the two into a giant family group hug.

"Damn, we missed you guys!" Erin shouted, as she wrapped her arms around Jay, having to stand on her tippy-toes just to reach him. She had the biggest smile on her face. Everyone did.

Hermann came over behind Jay, and put his hand on Jay's shoulder.

He handed Jay a beer with a smile.

"Glad to see you back here. You keep my bar safe."

"Thanks guys, a lot." Mouse said.

"Always." Erin said.

"Cheers. To our badass soldiers." Antonio chimed in, raising his beer up high.

"Cheers!" Everyone repeated, doing the same with their drinks.

"Remember, I can only do this one time, so enjoy it." Hermann teased, and laughed a little.

It was a great night. It built them up in the best way and made them feel at home.

Just what they needed.

 _To be continued…._


	7. Momma Halstead

**A/N: Hey, everyone! Sorry about the lack of updates, once again. Busy, busy, busy! But, at least I'm off writer's block! I've been on a roll. While I can at least. There's school, drama of course, and everyday I'm doing something, going out or laying sub-floor in the basement! I've been busy. Hopeful I can update some more for you guys. Sorry about that! Enjoy this chapter!**

Hermann came over behind Jay, and put his hand on Jay's shoulder.

He handed Jay a beer with a smile.

"Glad to see you back here. You keep my bar safe."

"Thanks guys, a lot." Mouse said.

"Always." Erin said.

"Cheers. To our badass soldiers." Antonio chimed in, raising his beer up high.

"Cheers!" Everyone repeated, doing the same with their drinks.

"Remember, I can only do this one time, so enjoy it." Hermann teased, and laughed a little.

It was a great night. It built them up in the best way and made them feel at home.

Just what they needed.

To be continued….

Three Weeks Later:

"So what do you think about Voight placing you down here with me?" Mouse asked as he sipped a beer, looking at Jay.

"I'm good with it. I wanna be at work...just don't think looking at...dead bodies is the best for me at the moment." Jay replied with a small scoff and a grin.

The two boys looked up at the sports game playing overhead the computer monitors. The were down there most of the day, working on surveillance or suspect identification for the team.

Voight gave them the option of coming back to work. It seemed like a good place to be. But, for Jay, it's in his best interest that he stay away from the stakeouts and crime scene inspections. Even Voight knew how hard that could be for someone in their position.

" ...Those IEDs that went off...about three months into the tour...you got a pretty bad concussion. "

"Can't believe you actually got me out of there."

"General Sergeant rushed in just as you collapsed. He helped me carry you to the back of the Humvee. I can't even believe we got you out of there."

Jay looked surprised with a smirk. It was such a story now that he was okay. Then, he remembered the times he was awake.

" ...I was awake for some of it. We were in the Humvee...just wanted to trll you I was alive."

"Getting to the hospital I couldn't even let go of your hand. They had to pry me off. General told me just...not to leave you...not until I knew you were okay. All I focused on in that Humvee was keeping you safe. I thought I was gonna lose you." Mouse explained. He scoffed, then put a frown on as he looked away.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"...me neither." Mouse replied...knowing his brother needed to hear it.

They looked at each other, like they just spoke their fates. They weren't going anywhere for a long time.

The Sergeant was weary about drinking on the job. But, a few beers for these boys was what they needed.

At Momma Halstead's:

It's been awhile since Jay's seen his mother. He's sent a card while he was away. She's lived in Chicago since before even Will was born.

Jay walked up the stairs to her peach painted house, and knocked on the antique door. The face that opened up was a happy pleasure to Jay, who was out of it. Just being near his comforting mother made him feel safe, like a child, in her embrace.

She immediately shot a smile on her face, and hugged her arms around him.

"Jay! Oh, my baby!" She said. Months...it'd been months.

"Hey, mom." Jay said, relieved.

"Well, come inside, hon." She said. She couldn't let the smile off her face. She closed the door lightly after he walked in and sat at the kitchen table.

The house looked and smelled old. It was antiqued, with a comforting feeling. Just like he had when he grew up.

"So how've you been, sugar?" She asked sitting at the table,"You like some coffee?"

"S-sure." He replied. He remembered how she used to make coffee in the morning. Every morning, like she couldn't go without a good few cups and a nice, early morning on her porch swing. I guess that's where Jay gets it from.

"Yeah, so how've you been? I see you just finished up your first tour. Gotta be harsh, so I guess asking how you're doin' isn't the best thing to ask." She joked. Jay smirked and scoffed lightly back. He loved the sound of her slight, natural southern accent, mixed in with a true Chicago accent. It was soft and comforting.

"Yeah, it's just...I still have to go back." Jay said with his head down.

"Well, you can leave before the next tour cantcha?" She questioned.

"I can. But...I can't leave. They need me. Mouse needs me."

"Mouse...how's that boy doing, anyways?"

"He-he's good, mom." Jay replied quietly. It seemed odd for her to change the subject, but she'd come back.

"Ah, nice boy. Well, if they need you...then do what's best. Follow your heart." She said, returning to the subject.

Jay looked at her and nodded, thinking about the phrase "follow your heart." If he could only figure out what his heart wanted…

To be continued...


	8. Give or Take the Love

_"Yeah, it's just...I still have to go back." Jay said with his head down._

 _"Well, you can leave before the next tour cantcha?" She questioned._

 _"I can. But...I can't leave. They need me. Mouse needs me."_

 _"Mouse...how's that boy doing, anyways?"_

 _"He-he's good, mom." Jay replied quietly. It seemed odd for her to change the subject, but she'd come back._

 _"Ah, nice boy. Well, if they need you...then do what's best. Follow your heart." She said, returning to the subject._

 _Jay looked at her and nodded, thinking about the phrase "follow your heart." If he could only figure out what his heart wanted…_

 _To be continued…_

One Week Before the Second Tour:

Jay sat at the bar drinking a single beer and some shots from Hermann.

It was so hard for him not to be alarmed by almost any noise or voice or even a touch on his shoulder. He knew there was more to come. But, if he knew it was coming, why the hell couldn't he stop it? The one thing that never made sense to him about PTSD.

Pretty soon after Molly's, surprised he didn't have to get a cab, he appeared at Erin's door. She knew why.

There was one week left until Jay had to leave soon. They needed some "we" time.

She opened the door. Both of their eyes glowed and glistened, as they looked at each other, seeming surprising to see each other. Without words, they understood that this was their time now.

"Can't believe we didn't do this sooner." Erin breathed out, as she leaned fast towards his lips. She let go of the door and put her hands on his face and he wrapped his arms around her waist as their lips crashed.

She pulled him slightly into the room and backed him up against the door frame.

Lips continuing to crash, they rolled inside the room, shutting the door clumsily as Erin's back ran against the wall. She grabbed onto his leather jacket and clenched it.

She pulled his face closer, but his body back as they began to move towards the other wall behind Jay. Just before he hit the wall, she jumped up and rapped her legs around his waist and strung her arms around his neck.

All that arose in the room was needed, unconditional love.

No hesitation, no thought, they continued for hours.

It took them awhile until they reached the bedroom.

The next thing they knew was laying in bed with hard breaths and smooth, exposed skin.

"Can't believe we don't do this more often. That was nice…" Erin said.

"I missed that...I don't wanna miss it again."

"Five more months and we'll be back at it again." she replied, knowing how hard this must be for him.

She looked over at him as her head rested flat in the white pillow. He was looking up, away from her. She smiled at him and moved over closer, resting her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest.

"I love you, you know?" She whispered.

"I know. I love you, too." He replied, placing his hand on her hair as he leaned his head to kiss her's.

The Next Morning:

It was nearly twelve in the afternoon. Erin was still laying in bed, but when she opened her eyes, she realized the other side of the bed was empty.

As she began to clear her weary, tired vision, and she got past the half-asleep stage, she began to hear conversation in the background. Jay's voice. It sounded like he'd been pacing, he had shoes on. Erin assumed he was already fully clothed. Jay always gets up early, but he'd have to have been up for hours already.

She looked concerned, and didn't hesitate to jump out of bed. She walked from the room and heard Jay mid-conversation.

"... okay, I-I'll be over as soon as I can...thanks." Jay said over the phone and then hung it up. He sat down on the couch and tossed his phone onto the coffee table in front of him. He put his head in his hands and sighed.

"Jay? What is it?" Erin asked, as she walked over and sat down gently next to him and frowned. She set her hand on his knee and comforted him before he answered.

He picked his head up and turned towards her, locking eye contact.

"It's my mom. She...uh...she's sick again. Will called to tell that she's at Chicago Med."

"What happened?"

"Her neighbor called for an ambulance when she found her...and... she's in a coma." he breathed out as his voice became quieter.

"Oh...Jay...I'm so sorry." She said. It was hard to explain how much this even hurt her. Jay was hurting, and his mom was dying. Who wouldn't be in pain just thinking about it?

"...I-I need to go to Med soon-"

"It's okay. You go. I'll tell Voight. I got your back." She explained.

"Thank you." he said, and she nodded at him with a small grin. And he looked at her and smiled, then got up and began to walk to the door.

He tried his best to get to Med as fast as he could. And finally get there, he rushed inside.

He got to the ICU, and found Will inside her room. He probably had been in there for a while now.

He didn't say anything, but he only stood in the door as his feet settled on the ground. He looked at his mother in the hospital bed and nearly buckled at his knees.

Will was standing next to the bed, his face showing the denial and despair.

This couldn't be.

Will looked up and noticed Jay walking in slowly. His eyes were glossy and scared.

He walked over to the other side of the bed, and began to speak.

"Is she gonna live?" Jay asked, sounding almost emotionless in his voice.

"...Jay…" Will said consolingly. He had to break the news sooner or later.

"No...no, no, no."

"Jay...the cancer spread to the point where there's no way we can get rid of it. It's done too much damage."

"Why didn't she know before? I just saw her last week, she was fine…"

"The cancer came back and must have been spreading for years already. There's no way she could have known that it would come back so suddenly. But, there was always a chance it could come back like this."

"I...I just-" Jay tried. He tried so hard to defend against the reality. But, it felt like a nightmare that he was trying to wake up from. But, no. It was all real. He couldn't escape it.

"We trying to do as much as we can to keep her alive for a while longer... it's time, Jay. We...uh...need to take her off life support soon. But, Goodwin said that we can take all time we need."

Tears burned in Jay's eyes. He knew he was a wreck. He knew his brother was a wreck. But why wasn't he showing it? Maybe it was the "It's the job, you gotta keep going" type of thing. But, this was his mother.

"Can I just have a little bit to-"

"Yeah. Of course, little brother." Will keep lied, already understanding that Jay needed some time. He needed to hang on a little bit longer. He walked from the room and disappeared from Jay's sight.

The young Halstead sat in a chair next to his mother's bedside. He grabbed her hand and held it tight. He began to speak to her, feeling as if that was his only option.

"Hey, mom…" Jay said, but felt like his tears couldn't be held back much longer. They began to drip one by one from his eyes. He began to sob, trying his hardest not to.

He knows his mom wouldn't want this. She'd want her two babies to let her go.

"I wish I could just say 'a little bit longer' and this would just go away. I…" he couldn't even speak. He was choking on his sobs, choking on his own words.

"I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry…you never deserved this. You never deserved this…" he said, but his voice became soft and he began to whisper. He leaned over in his chair and kissed her hand in his. He looked down for a minute, trying to compose himself. Then looking back up again, he spoke.

"I have to leave for a few more months. But, I'll be back. I promise...just hang on for me, okay? Just a little while longer…just a little while..."

To be continued...


	9. Difference Between Raindrops and Tears

**A/N: Hello! So I just updated LDFTE for you, a lot of you wanted an update ASAP! I also hear that a lot of you liked last chapters tear-jerker for this story. So here's another one for you! I hope it pays off! Enjoy!**

 _He knows his mom wouldn't want this. She'd want her two babies to let her go._

" _I wish I could just say 'a little bit longer' and this would just go away. I…" he couldn't even speak. He was choking on his sobs, choking on his own words._

" _I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry…you never deserved this. You never deserved this…" he said, but his voice became soft and he began to whisper. He leaned over in his chair and kissed her hand in his. He looked down for a minute, trying to compose himself. Then looking back up again, he spoke._

" _I have to leave for a few more months. But, I'll be back. I promise...just hang on for me, okay? Just a little while longer…just a little while..."_

 _To be continued…_

 **Three Months into the Second Tour:**

Jay and Mouse took their time to scavenged through the shoddy buildings of Afghanistan. Some men worked the technology center inside the shelter. Some searched houses, too. Some were watching with hawk eyes on the roof.

There medic Rangers that drove around in Humvees and some in the shelter.

Jay was in front of Mouse. They entered the building that was said to be the most dangerous of them. Snipers hid inside with bombs, knives, guns, etc. It was more dangerous to the Rangers than anyone would think.

They were slow, and their larger guns were at their chests and their hands gripped them hard. They looked through every inch of the building slowly. They heard silence in the building. But all was chaotic outside. Screams, bombs, bullets, blood.

But, what Jay and Mouse didn't know, was that that was soon to happen to them.

They kept moving forward, confiscating weapons that they'd found. But, almost stepping into the next room, bullets sounded. The two Rangers dropped to the floor in a fast. The next thing was smoke. Strong, weakening.

They both coughed and coughed, trying to breathe. But, the last thing they knew before fading to black vision were blurred faces in front of them and distorted voices speaking.

 **At Chicago Med:**

Will sat in the darkened room where his mother laid unconscious with a tube breathing for her, and a machine keeping her heart beating and organs from shutting down.

He was lost too much in his thoughts. He sort of rambled to his mother, but only looked down. He never looked at her. He just stared at his nervous hands as they fumbled against each other.

"Jay's been gone for a few months. I know I come in here every day, but...he told me to keep you here until he got back. As much as I don't want to let you go...I have to...I need Jay to let go. I know we have to let you go. That's what you'd want. It'd only hurt us if we didn't and you'd never have that, huh…" He scoffed and grinned at the irony,"I'm sorry I can't do anything. I'm a damn doctor, I'm your son, I'm supposed to be…I'm supposed to be keeping you alive, but I can't I just...I'm sorry…"

The waterworks began. He felt like he could say so much more...but too much that he'd just end up rambling and mumbling, repeating everything he'd said about wanting to save her. But, he knew he had to let her go. It was time. He just wished it wouldn't happen now. He wished that he could hear her voice one last time…

He snapped out of it and looked up around the still dark and silent room. He looked at the darkness outside and decided he needed some air. He'd maybe go up to the roof and gets his thoughts together.

That's what he did. He stood up a looked out at the horizon of lights and skyscrapers in from of him.

Usually he was the one that was stubborn. He'd refuse to let his mother die, especially on his hands. But, it's his brother this time. Jay was close to her, only because their father was horrible towards the young Halstead.

The only thing Will couldn't figure out was how he was going to persuade Jay to let her go. Especially now. Going back to war, then adding on an even more personal death.

Jay is familiar with death, but this time it stung him. Hard. But, he couldn't hang on for three years. He needed to move on.

Will would fight for patients to live. His job was to save. But, after a while he learned that he had to do what the patient wanted. Even though he didn't want to. Even though this was his flesh and blood...his mother.

He stared off into the night city, until he felt he was not alone. He didn't even care of the rain that had been pouring for five minutes now.

His co-worker Natalie Manning had been standing there with a jacket and a hood up. She had so many questions running through her mind.

Why was he alone? In the rain?

Then she remembered. From there, just saying there, should could feel the greif and loneliness he felt.

"Will?" She said. Her voice was soft and consoling. He didn't flinch or jump at her. He actually relaxed.

His hair was soaked and his eyes looked sad and glassy. Like he'd been pouring tears as hard as it'd been raining.

He slowly turned his head towards her, still looking at the ground. After he faced her, he looked up and met her eyes. She could tell the difference between his tears and the raindrops that coated his face.

Her eyes were soft and caring, concerned and sad. She tilted her head slightly in concern. She was gentle as she began to slowly walk closer to Will. She stopped for moment, then continued to get closer. He watched her eyes as she continued walking. Once she got close, she took her hand and watched it as she set it on his cheek. He looked down and closed his eyes and brought his head down as he brought his hand to hers that laid on his cheek.

She brushed her thumb on his cheek, trying to comfort him. They were close, huddled up in the cold rain.

They folded their empty hands together and held them at the side as she continued to caress his face with her other and he held her forearm.

Their foreheads pressed against each other.

"Why are you doing this?" He wondered in a whisper.

"Because I love you. I care. And you're not okay." She explained.

She looked at his face, she could see more tears.

"No tears. I know you're hurting right now. But, you're not alone in this. I'm here. Okay?"

"Jay's not here. My mom is already gone... Jay's gonna lose it. I just-"

"I know. I know. But, I'm letting you take this weight on your shoulders all by yourself."

"You don't have to do this..."

"I do. I'm not letting you fall. Okay? I'm gonna be here with you and I'm not going away."

He breathed in and out slowly and nodded, she could feel it on her forehead. She slowly closed her eyes and mover her lips to crash with his a few times.

He didn't feel alone anymore.

"Let's get you dried off, okay?" she said, as she let away from his lips. She pulled her head away and brushed his wet hair from his forehead as they met eye contact again. She put her hand down and eventually locked her arm around his and they grabbed hands, as she set her other hand on his forearm. They began to walk together and away from the dark night in Chicago.

 _To be continued..._


	10. Taking 'Em Down

**A/N: Hey, everyone! So here's another update.**

 **I actually need a favor from you before you read. I need some ideas for what you want to read in the upcoming chapters. Anything at all! I want to incorporate stuff that you guys really want to read. I feel like this story is gonna go far. It's really developing and I'm super happy with it. Even if you just want to comment as a guest or if you want to go as far as PMing me, go ahead! I want your ideas so this story will make you unable to sleep if you don't see an update! I'm excited to see what you have in mind! Enjoy this chapter!**

"You _don't have to do this..."_

" _I do. I'm not letting you fall. Okay? I'm gonna be here with you and I'm not going away."_

 _He breathed in and out slowly and nodded, she could feel it on her forehead. She slowly closed her eyes and mover her lips to crash with his a few times._

 _He didn't feel alone anymore._

" _Let's get you dried off, okay?" she said, as she let away from his lips. She pulled her head away and brushed his wet hair from his forehead as they met eye contact again. She put her hand down and eventually locked her arm around his and they grabbed hands, as she set her other hand on his forearm. They began to walk together and away from the dark night in Chicago._

 _To be continued…_

 **In Afghanistan:**

Jay finally snapped his eyes open, and took in a sharp, shaky breath. He realized his gun was gone. He looked around, and next to him, was Mouse. He laid unmoving, with no gun in sight either.

Jay ached and was trying to catch his breath. Damn, it hurt. His chest hurt so bad.

He stumbled onto his knees and crawled to his friend through the still thick smoke.

What seemed like hours of being knocked out was actually only minutes. Just enough time for them to take both of their guns and ammo. Plus any weapon they had.

Jay reached his friend, but was so weak that his knees buckled. He fell forward and caught himself with his elbows. He decided to use his arms to take him the rest of the way to his buddy.

"Mouse? Mouse! Come on, wake up!" Jay said, trying his best to whisper even though he was in such a panic. He shook Mouse's vest, trying to wake him. Jay frowned and looked so frightened as he looked around at his surrounding once more, then back at his friend,"Mouse, hey, come on, buddy. Come on, wake up!" He tried once again, and the next thing he knew was Mouse inhaling and beginning to cough. His eyes shot open, and he seemed scared as hell.

He shot up, almost as if he was awaking violently from a nightmare. Jay caught him as his body roared upward. He breathed violently, and tried to inhale as best he could. Jay held him as Mouse grasped his jacket sleeve with both hands.

"Hey, it's okay. It's fine now. You're okay." Jay consoled. He knew Mouse had gone through a similar experience back in the day.

As Mouse finally caught his breath, he began to speak, and wondered what had happened.

"What the hell...was that?" Mouse breathed out.

"They were snipers…" Jay replied. They listened in on their radios. What they heard was terrifying.

" _All Rangers...f'n ou...hide!...bombing!"_

The two Rangers heard over the barely audible radio, until a sudden explosion from outside, along with yelling and commotion that had alarmed them.

They looked at each other in shock.

"This isn't good…" Jay said.

"No kidding...we gotta hide." Mouse slightly panicked, as Jay helped him off the ground. Just then, gunshots sounded around them. They dropped to the ground as bullets shot right towards, but ended up hitting the wall behind them after their duck.

Outside, another bomb went off. The two Ranger even felt the impact of that one.

"We gotta stay down!" Jay yelled over the commotion. Bullets kept firing, people kept screaming, bombs kept exploding. Dust hustled inside the buildings. The two Rangers tried to hurry away from it, but had to stay down.

They got on their elbows and knees and crawled to the nearest and safest room they knew of. They reached a storage closet in the next room over. Jay stood up carefully and opened it, as Mouse stood up, and they locked themselves inside.

It was dark and they could still hear every terrifying sound there was outside.

For badass, tough Rangers…

They were terrified.

Their breaths were heavy. They tried their hardest to steady them as they heard footsteps coming by and stop in the room in front of them.

Mouse shut his eyes for a moment, hoping for the best out this situation. The best was that they would come out alive.

As they waited, another bomb went off. They could feel the impact, as they were even thrown hard against the wall. They tried so hard not to make any noise as the hit the wall and sunk to the floor. Luckily the door didn't swing open. Luckily they weren't found, as they finally heard footsteps leave.

They sat silent for a minute, trying not to move even though they sat pressed against the wall uncomfortably. It felt like they were stuck like glue to the wall as they sat stiffly.

After a moment of silence, the ear ringing settled. The next thing they heard was a scream. Silent and struggled, sounding like a child, but it was there. The two Rangers looked at each other and knew that they needed to leave hiding eventually.

"You ready?" Mouse asked him quietly.

"As I'll ever be." Jay replied. Mouse looked away, and slowly lifted his hand to the rickety door knob. He creaked it open slowly and light came as, the same time as the girl yelled, calling for help.

"Sounds like a kid. Teenager." Mouse said.

They snuck out of the room as silent as they could on their boots. They were unarmed completely.

They tried their hardest to move sneakily, but they noticed raging flames that began to move closer to them from the front of the building. Light shown through from the outside, and the flames emerged from the giant, exploded hole from the IEDs outside. They could hear and see the commotion and smoke from outside.

They headed closer and closer to the room, trying to be quick from the flames.

They finally reached the room of the girl and scanned.

"Help...help me...please!" The girl cried, as loud as she could. She was battered and bruised and was tied to, who knows what, by a sturdy rope.

She was only a teenager.

Jay noticed and tapped Mouse on the arm, getting his attention.

"Cover me, cover me." Jay said, as he hurried to the girl.

He began to kneel down lower to her gently, speaking softly.

"Hey, it's okay. You're safe. I'm a Ranger. My name is Jay. We're gonna get you out of here, okay?" He said, as she seemed terrified, unsure of who it was. After he stated himself, she nodded and looked as if she sunk into a comfort and safeness by Jay and Mouse's presence.

Jay kneeled down near her and noticed the rope she was attached to.

"Mouse, get me something to cut this rope with!" Jay said, as he shot up and began to look for a sharp item himself. That fire was coming fast. Who knew if they could even find a way out.

Acting as fast as they could, they searched and scoured the small room they were in.

"Jay!" Mouse said alarmingly. He finally found, in a drawer of a wooden wardrobe, a small collection of knives and weapons. Probably hidden by the snipers or victims who were in hiding.

Mouse took one of the sharper knives and tried his best to slide it across the floor to Jay. He knelt down to pick it up and quickly get to the girl again. He could hear her whimpering in fear and pain.

Jay stood up with the knife in his hand hurried to the girl. Just before he could kneel down again, Mouse turned his head to the hallway in front of him. The first thing his eyes caught was the barrel of a large gun. His gun.

The man behind it, a sniper, looked enjoyed to have his finger on the trigger.

"Jay, get down!" Mouse shouted, as he flew to the ground completely. Jay didn't think twice to shoot to the ground, trying his hardest to get the girl down, too. He didn't look back at what was going on. He knew what was going on.

The young girl screamed, but choked her terror.

Shots rang out violently. The Rangers tried their hardest to stay to the ground. It was almost like trying to go through the floor.

Mouse was trembling from the rush and fear. He remembered seeing a small handgun in the drawer. He reached up with only his arm, guessing with all he could with only the guess of his arm's trajectory.

He felt around and finally could feel the barrel of the gun. He picked it up quickly and sat up like the bullets that were about to shoot from his gun. He aimed and shot.

He was relieved to hear the sound of a body falling to the ground along with his weapons, just as Mouse sat back down as fast as he could. It felt like slow motion though within all the action.

Once he felt it was safe and there was no noise, he sat up slowly.

... _I took 'em down!_ Mouse thought.

"Jay...it's clear...I got 'em," Mouse said, trying to catch his shaky breath,"I got 'em…"

Jay breathed out, and closed his eyes. He scoffed and smiled, looking back at Mouse. They met eyes and laughed a little bit. It felt a little less threatening to both of them.

 _To be continued..._


	11. Nothing is Okay

**A/N: Hello, everyone! Sorry for the delayed update. I've been really busy. For some reason summer is like the busiest time in my year! But, don't be mad, because these next few chapters are gonna either make you cry or blow you away! It's like I don't even know what writer's block is anymore! I've been better in details, vocabulary, the plot, the development, the depiction of the characters, the length of the story (which I know all of you will like! My chapters are a but short sometimes). This is probably one of the main reasons why I'm not posting because I'm just so intrigued and caught up in this story! I love it! In these next few chapters I think it starts to really develop how I wanted it to. Like ideas just blast into my mind I had to start writing the story line down! I'm very excited for you to read these next few, so please enjoy and let me know what you think! It's going to be action-packed!**

 **P.S., to the one reviewer who said they wanted someone in a relationship with Mouse, don't worry it's coming! I just need a find a place for it!**

 _He was relieved to hear the sound of two bodies falling to the ground along with their weapons, just as he sat back down as fast as he could. It felt like slow motion though._

 _Once he felt it was safe and there was no noise, he sat up slowly._

 _...He took them down._

 _"Jay...it's clear...I got 'em," Mouse said, trying to catch his shaky breath,"I got 'em…"_

 _Jay breathed out, and closed his eyes. He scoffed and smiled, looking back at Mouse. They met eyes and laughed a little bit. It felt a little less threatening to both of them._

 _To be continued…_

 **In Chicago Three Months Later:**

Voight told Jay he either went to work or he didn't. In this case, work wasn't something he was up for at the moment. It was hard to be social. It was hard to think. It was hard not to receive a pounding headache during the day either. Mouse actually did go to work. He was probably wondering where the hell Jay was. Everyone probably was.

Somehow, Jay managed to get up at early hours. Staying up 24/7 or getting a few hours and waking up at the crack of dawn from the tours made him exhausted. But, after months of getting used to it, waking up early didn't faze him.

He walked into the dimmed living room and to the kitchen where his brother was making coffee.

Jay walked towards him and leaned on the counter, just as Will stuck out a cup filled with black coffee. Just how Jay likes it. He took it from his brother's hand as the older Halstead smiled at him.

"Morning." Jay said and took a swig of the coffee.

"Mornin'." Will replied.

"Haven't had this in a while. I'm used to having dirt for breakfast." Jay joked, then remembered how every morning he would awake, the outside was already covered in dust. From the previous hours, or from the current hours on the battlefield.

"Enjoy it." Will said as he shuffled around in the kitchen and living room, getting ready for his day as the two brothers were silent for a while. He finally finished, and headed to his coffee on the kitchen counter.

"How you been?" Will asked his brother. Jay swallowed the sip of his coffee and spoke.

"I'm...okay. You?" Right then and there, Jay's voice became quiet, and he began to keep his feelings and thoughts unspoken.

"...I actually wanted to, uh...Jay, w-we need to make... funeral plans." Will said. It hurt him to say it. He could feel the anxiety coming off of his brother.

Jay could feel himself beginning to shake. So he inhaled and exhaled, trying to unnoticeably calm himself down.

"We don't have to do it now. It's just…"

"Do we even have the money for it?" Jay said sternly, like he knew something.

"We'll find a way." Will said, as his brother looked at him with raw eyes.

"We can talk about it more later. I gotta go." Will said, almost abruptly, but just to break the silence. He was nearly out of the kitchen when Jay spoke loud and clear.

"Why did he keep the money for the funeral?" Just then, Will felt as if he was shocked with the sudden rage coming off his brother.

His jaw dropped and he inhaled like he'd been stabbed in the back. It was so sudden. He turned around, and tried to explain.

"Jay…"

"Why did dad keep the money for her? Huh? He never appreciated her, why did he save up for her funeral?"

"How do you know-" Will placed his coffee back on the counter.

"I just need a reason." Jay interrupted, somehow keeping his temper.

"Because he still loved her, Jay."

"No, he didn't. Not any of us." Jay said, so close to snapping. It pained Will to keep this from him his brother.

"He knew about her cancer when they met." Now he felt like he was just spitting out everything he hid from Jay.

"...What?" Jay quieted down, as well as Will, who hated himself for telling Jay all this. Will rubbed the palm of his hand over his face and began to speak after pulling his hand away. He walked closer to his brother.

"Jay...dad knew about her cancer when they met. They were in high school. They were friends. They got together. He was with her through all of it. When they split up, after she was in the hospital. He told me...that he loved her."

"Then why'd he leave?"

"He felt guilty because...because he couldn't take care of her. It hated seeing her like that. He tried. But, she was in so much pain."

Jay's eyes burned, nearly spilling out tears.

"Then why did he hurt her if he loved her?" Jay knew his mother wasn't the only one he hurt. Verbally and physically. But Jay didn't see himself mattering, he saw nothing mattering, at this point, besides his mother.

"He has the money for the funeral costs. Unless he happens to be at the funeral and I don't make a damn restraining order before then, you won't see his face." His brother assured sternly. He sounded sure of his words.

"We'll talk about it later. I gotta get to work." Will said, trying to keep his cool. Jay stood still, as Will walked out of the room and he finally heard the front door open and shut.

He contemplated in his head.

After a while, he decided he'd been thinking too much. He figured that his few hours of sleep wasn't enough, when he decided to pass out on the couch again. He sure as hell wasn't going to work...but he sure as hell wasn't going to try to face the day.

What he didn't remember were the several bottles of either almost empty or completely empty beers that sat on the floor and coffee table in front of him as he lay on the couch.

Time had passed, of course, since he'd woken up this morning. The whole time he tried his hardest to push the thought of the fight with Will and the thought of his mother out of his head. But, how could he do that to her? How damn selfish he was, he thought. It only made the thought more powerful.

He couldn't watch his mother die. He couldn't let her go.

But, truth be told...she was already gone. Months ago, before the second tour.

He made her hold on.

He felt so damn selfish.

That weight of not only his mother, but his own selfishness and blame, just made his grieving worse.

Each and every second hurt him so bad it made him nauseous.

But, his mother would want him to let go.

He just wanted to grab a bottle of liquor and go crazy.

She wouldn't want him to do that.

But, he would want to do things his way and drown his problems. But, that would be thoughtless.

She wouldn't think so. She'd only think that her baby didn't deserve to be so depressed... that's why she would want him to let her go…

He thought about it all for so long. Contemplating what he was going to do and how it was going to be like. His stomach churned anxiously at every thought.

Beer wasn't strong anymore, since Jay already had a high tolerance for it. He's never been sobered up, really. Everyone says that one beer can bring back alcoholism all together. With Jay, it's a different story. He's been down this road before, of course. Hell knows how he got away from it. He doesn't know if he can this time. But, when things go bad...it's the only way he can deal with it and get through his day. The only way to occupy his boredom and anger and grief.

The only way. For him at least. No exceptions to anything else for him.

The next thing he knew he was sitting on the couch with his phone in his right hand and a new bottle of liquor in the left. Unopened.

It was dark in the room, no lights were on. Only the slight light from the rain clouds and glimmering rain on the window.

It was time for dealing with things.

Jay held the bottle in one hand and slid his fingers up to the cap. He was nearly about to pop the cork out of the bottle and go crazy.

Just before, his phone began to buzz in his other hand. He felt it and stopped at the cork of the bottle. He realized, just as he came to reality, that he was trembling. His hands. Almost uncontrollably, up until he looked at the name of the caller.

His mind twisted and he felt terrified for a moment. He realized what he was doing and eventually, he slowly set the bottle down. He held the buzzing phone with two hands as the trembling settled.

Erin Lindsay.

It was Erin.

What the hell was he thinking? Wanting to drink himself oblivious? He didn't even think of Erin or Intelligence. People who obviously cared.

It's almost as if he didn't care about himself, so he forget about anything relating to him mattering.

But, Erin would kill him if he even attempted to chug down a bottle of liquor.

He sighed and swiped the lock, answering the call. He put the phone up to his ear and spoke as best he could without an emotion that would make her suspicious.

"Hey." Jay said, looking happy and a bit relieved to hear her voice.

"Hey, where have you been?" Erin spoke. Her tone was rushed and scared, almost commanding, yet very sad. Jay nearly stalled, not knowing what to say.

"I…" He tried, but really couldn't speak.

"Jay? Are you okay?"

"...uh...n-no...no, I'm not...nothing is." He replied quietly. She got the suspicion that he was a clearly in a depressed state. As of now, this is the worst she's ever known of him. But, she didn't realize how bad he was really going to get.

"Oh...Jay…" She said sweetly and sympathetically.

"I...I don't know...I don't know what to do anymore…"

"It's okay... it's okay." She consoled him. She heard him start to sob a little bit and it nearly broke her heart.

To be continued...


	12. The Halstead's Circle of Life

**A/N: Hey, everyone! Sorry for the late update, besides the fact that I've been so busy, I just got a pool and a hot tub and cut my thumb on one of the jets. Man, it hurt! I have to do almost everything with my left hand now, but I'm still writing! Here is another chapter, I updated LDFTE as well. Enjoy!**

" _Hey." Jay said, looking happy and a bit relieved to hear her voice._

" _Hey, where have you been?" Erin spoke. Her tone was rushed and scared, almost commanding, yet very sad. Jay nearly stalled, not knowing what to say._

" _I…" He tried, but really couldn't speak._

" _Jay? Are you okay?"_

" _...uh...n-no...no, I'm not...nothing is." He replied quietly. She got the suspicion that he was a clearly in a depressed state. As of now, this is the worst she's ever known of him. But, she didn't realize how bad he was really going to get._

" _Oh...Jay…" She said sweetly and sympathetically._

" _I...I don't know...I don't know what to do anymore…"_

" _It's okay... it's okay." She consoled him. She heard him start to sob a little bit and it nearly broke her heart._

 _To be continued..._

 **Hours Later at the Hospital:**

Jay didn't want to decide. But, living in his mind for months...he knew it was time. Even if he wasn't ready. She'd want him to let go.

Jay arrived at the hospital minutes before, and each step to her hospital room made him feel weak, sad, angry. It hurt...

He reached the room and looked through the glass doors. The room was dim and sad. Will was with her, probably for a while now.

Jay walked in and Will gave him a nod after looking up at him from a chair, indicating he'd give him some time with her. He barely made any eye contact with Jay, from the argument from earlier. Jay didn't bother to even talk to him.

They were almost furious with each other.

The older Halstead brother left the room, and watched through the closed doors as Jay sat down and held his mother's hand.

Even though how bad the two brother's were mad at each other, it hurt Will so much to see his brother like this.

He noticed a change in Jay since the call he got about Afghanistan. It's like he finally forgot about war. He lived a normal life for a while. Then, that call changed it all.

Jay began to speak, inaudibly to Will. But, when Jay began to drop tears, it broke his heart. He watched. He couldn't believe how hard this was, not just on himself, but on Jay...at this time? Why now? Why ever?

Outside of the room, Dr. Charles stood in front of the glass doors next to Will. He could clearly tell the two brothers were avoiding one another because of some tension other than their mother. But, he knew what it was.

"Dr. Charles, why are you here?" Will asked curiously.

"You two boys shouldn't be alone in this situation."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to. I'll explain another time."

That made Will's suspicion even more tense, but he asked no further questions. Soon after, Mouse and Erin arrived. They came to be there for the Halstead's. They were family after all.

Tears already began to form in both of their eyes.

Inside the room, Jay spoke his last words to his mother.

"It's...it's time to move on. I know I don't want to...I'll never want to...but, I know you'd want me to. Uh...I just...I…" Jay stuttered and began to sob. He put his head down, almost as if he was in shame,"...I...I love you, mom… I'll never forget you, okay?" He whispered, trying to keep himself from sobbing. But, his heavy breath took over as he spoke his last words in tears.

He stood up slowly, still grasping her hand.

He didn't want to walk away, but it hurt so much. It's like she was still in pain. And Jay could remember how she was always in pain.

"Goodbye…" He said one last time. He smiled and a single tear from Jay's eye fell onto his hand and dripped onto her's, just before he let his hand away and walked out slowly.

He walked with his head down. Will watched him as a tear from his already watering eyes, dripped onto his cheek at the sight of his hurt little brother. The grief was so strong you could sense it if you were even two rooms away.

Jay knew Erin was there, he could see her shoes as he walked to her with his head down. Her face was solemn and sad. She furrowed her eyebrows sadly and looked at him with glistening eyes.

"Jay?" She spoke quietly. He seemed to have felt panic coming on, like a panic attack. But, it was as if his body was too tired and so taken over by grief and sadness that he just didn't have the energy to lose himself over it.

He knew it didn't make sense. Nothing did. He constantly felt like he would crumble without the guidance he didn't have now.

He knew, as he took his hand off of his mother's, that his sudden feeling of emptiness told him that he was on a downward spiral.

When he took his hand away, nothing making sense turned into complete confusion and utter despair and chaos in his mind.

He didn't look at Erin as she spokr his name. He even backed away, almost unnoticeably, but not to her. She could tell that his emotional and mental state already began to deteriorate. She could tell that he was afraid.

She's never seen him more vulnerable in her life.

He's always been Jay Badass Halstead. She's never seen him broken down. Not even with Ben Corson's death.

She's never seen him during his tours. But, from what she hears, drugs and alcohol were part of it. It seems like he's doing better than the last war, since he knows what happens when he falls into a depression. But, it seems like he _wants_ to drown himself in it all again. He doesn't even need it, he desires it. Not that it makes him feel better, or makes him happy...it makes him numb. So he doesn't feel the pain...

Erin inched over generously and set her hand gently on his arm. He didn't look up just yet.

"...Just get it over with…" Jay said softly and gravelly. His tone was so hurt, but it was so hurt that he almost seemed numb already.

Will nodded with sad eyes, and told the nurse that stood by that it was time.

Erin couldn't bare it any longer. It was killing her to see the one she loved just standing in front of her in tears. If he cried. She would cry with him.

She frowned, and a few tears began to drip down her face. She kept one hand on his arm, and put the other over his cheek. She caressed his tear-stained skin with her thumb as she tried to comfort him as best she could.

Mouse came over to Jay and set his hand on Jay's shoulder, gripping it comfortingly.

They stood there, still like a stone, as nurses entered the darkened room. They closed the door, but not all sound was blocked out.

The last noise in the room was the painful sound of a flat line. It was muffled behind the glass doors, but Jay could still hear it.

Immediately as the beep sounded, Jay inhaled sharply and began to trembled. He tried to breathe out, but it was struggled and shaky and rough.

Erin tried her best to console him in a soft voice.

"It's okay...it's okay…" She repeated in a whisper over and over.

Will turned his back to the room and leaned on the desk counter. He set his chin on his shaky, folded fists and shut his eyes, squeezing out tears as the flat line sounded.

Dr. Charles turned around from watching through the glass doors and looked at the two brothers. He approached Will at the counter and set a hand on his shoulder. Will looked up and met eye contact with him as the doctor looked over at the traumatized, younger Halstead.

Dr. Charles led Will to his brother. After the psychiatrist put a hand on Jay's shoulder as well, the younger brother looked up slowly. Dr. Charles stood with the two brother's, as Erin also looked sadly at the two.

The brothers met eye contact. Will could see it Jay's eyes. The pain. It was so strong you could sense it. You could see it in the shiver of Jay's body. You could feel it in his trembling hands. Will lightly moved his hand up to Jay's shoulder, but even before it reached, Jay pulled away from Erin and threw himself comfortably into his brother's embrace.

Will realized what Dr. Charles brought him over to his younger brother for. To be his older brother. He realized how much Jay needed him right now.

And he felt like an older brother in this moment.

He remembered when Jay was a kid and how much he needed Will at some times.

Tears poured from both brothers' eyes as they hugged each other so tight. Each trembling. Will could hear his baby brother whimpering a few times.

Jay closed his eyes and accepted his brother's embrace. Will tried to calm himself, as well his brother. He fluttered his eyes, feeling the tears wet his eyelashes. He looked up to the ceiling, trying to lessen the tears as a big, shaky sigh escaped from him.

"It's okay...it's okay, brother." He spoke softly. Mouse and Erin stood watching the two brother's, pretty much in tears, but lesser than the brothers.

And who knows how long they stood there for.

 _To be continued..._


	13. Dr Charles Knows Everything

**A/N: Hello, everyone! Here's another chapter for you all! I love the Halstead family drama in these couple chapters. It really gives the story a filter to make it special, along with the chapters coming soon. There will be more chapters involving the war, and it is intense! I just wish they'd put more things about Jay's past and his father and all that stuff in the actual show.**

 **Speaking of which, who can't wait for the Chicago Trilogy to start airing again this fall?! I'm so anxious about where PD is going to pick up! OMG and CF I'm SCREAMING WHY DID THEY HAVE TO LEAVE US WITH THAT SEASON FINALE?! I guess we all just gave to predict until then, plus I get scene sneak peeks from the actors' Snapchats lololol!**

 **Well, enough of my ranting. Enjoy this chapter!** Tears _poured from both brothers' eyes as they hugged each other so tight. Each trembling. Will could hear his baby brother whimpering a few times._

 _Jay closed his eyes and accepted his brother's embrace. Will tried to calm himself, as well his brother. He fluttered his eyes, feeling the tears wet his eyelashes. He looked up to the ceiling, trying to lessen the tears as a big, shaky sigh escaped from him._

" _It's okay...it's okay, brother." He spoke softly. Mouse and Erin stood watching the two brother's, pretty much in tears, but lesser than the brothers._

 _And who knows how long they stood there for_.

 _To be continued…_

 **Two Days Later:**

Jay felt like there was a difference between receiving comfort when he _needed_ it, and receiving comfort when he just wanted to be alone. Even if it was his brother. In this case, it was. Will was still crashing with him. The older Halstead knew that at most times, Jay didn't need anyone. The only thing people would bring up is Jay's depression. But, was he going to even _try_ to pretend to be happy? For others?

It was either act happy and okay, then be looked at oddly for it. People would ask why he wasn't acting like a wreck. Truth be told he was a wreck. But, if if he acted like one. It'd make trying to get through the day harder.

That's why Voight pretty much _ordered_ him to take off work for a while. As well as Goodwin, who told Will to take off. But, he refused. Working took his mind off of everything. Even though Will was of course Jay's flesh and blood, Jay didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even Erin.

He wanted to be alone in darkness where he could think. Where he could sleep. We're he couldn't be bothered by burdens again.

But, they never even arranged a funeral yet. It was up to the Halstead's to arrange it, even in their agony and grief.

The hard part was that Halstead Senior was the one with the money for it.

 **At Chicago Med:**

The ER was nearly empty in the mornings, the afternoon is when it started to become hectic. But, the quiet time gave Will some time to think about his plan. Not that he stayed up last night restless. Why the hell did he come to work? Why the hell did he even leave his bed?

Will pressed his folded, shaky fists against his forehead as he rest his elbows on the desk in front of him. No sleep, lots of coffee, and a very anxious and disastrous situation made him tremble.

Outside of the dark break room, Dr. Charles saw the Halstead was a wreck, but not nearly as bad as the younger brother. Either way, he was still human.

Dr. Charles made his way towards the door and swung it open slowly as he entered the same.

"Good morning, Dr. Halstead." Dr. Charles began, and the young doctor looked up at him, nearly blinded by the little bit of light that he wasn't seeing with his eyes closed.

"Morning." Will said, trying to act like everything was normal.

"How're you and Jay doing?"

"Uh, just hanging in there. I mean, Jay...not so much."

"How about the funeral?"

"...Getting it worked out."

"You haven't worked anything out yet, have you?" Dr. Charles asked plainly.

"...No, no, not yet." He admitted.

"You know, the only reason why I'm bringing this up is because, I'm not sure if you are Jay can do this on your own." He said, but his words made him sound like he meant more than he said.

"What do you mean?"

"I know about your father. How he has the money for the funeral. That's why you and your brother were avoiding each other two days ago. Am I correct?"

"Yeah...um...Jay wasn't supposed to know about it. But, our dad doesn't keep things as secretive as he says he does. Jay wouldn't even want to call him dad…"

"I know he makes things complicated."

"I-I think I'll just have to go and meet him somewhere to figure things out."

It was silent for a moment, as Will had more curiosity to expose about Dr. Charles and Mary Halstead.

"How did you know my parents?" Will questioned.

"Oh, college. You're mother studied at the same place I did. We were great friends. She'd already been married to your father at the time."

"Was he a jackass back then, too?" Will joked.

"Sometimes."

"Doesn't surprise me."

 **Two Hours Later:**

Will finally caught the courage to call his father. Apparently he'd been in town for a while now, and simply wanted to meet with Will for arrangements. They met near the Wabash Bridge, a good distance from where the Halstead brothers lived.

"Hey, son." Will's father spoke.

"Hey." Will replied sternly, having no interest in a perfect father and son conversation,"I don't have a lot of time, so let's make this quick."

His father looked at him, almost in shame, but like he was trying to make conversation without an argument.

"Listen, Will, I already have everything figured out, okay? But, I'm paying for it, the least you could do is let me come."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"I loved her, Will. You know why I couldn't stay…" he spoke as his voice trailed out in grief.

"I don't think Jay wants to see your face."

"Yeah, I figured."

"I wonder if he'll even come…" Will said, as he looked over disappointedly.

"What do you mean?" He actually sounded concerned.

"Not that you'll care, but...Jay's not...Jay's not doing too good."

"I mean, besides his mother, what else?"

"He's back on tour. And...it's messing with him. This is only making it worse."

"Sorry to hear that. And I'm not just saying that."

"Well, I just have one question...what made you think he deserved to be treated like he was by you?"

"He didn't deserve it…"

"Then why'd you do it?"

"You knew what I was...on...Will. Don't you think I felt guilty after he got into the same hell I did after his first set of tours?"

"Why would you feel guilty?"

"Because I was his influence. I was yours too. When your mother got sick, you were out partying and Jay was out fighting a war. You'd come home drunk with pills in your pocket and Jay would come home wanting the same damn thing."

"Dad-"

"Even when he was a teenager, still in highschool, he'd be into that stuff. I'd find it hidden in his room or in his car. He'd skip school for it. It killed me to see my own kid with bloodshot, dilated eyes. Having to go to the hospital because of it."

"Mom tried to help you."

"Well, it was my own damn fault that I left." He admitted. It was shocking that he did admit it all. And he said it seriously. He meant it. It was silent for a moment, but Will needed time to process everything.

"I'll see you at the funeral." Will said finally. That sentence told his father that he could come, and Will went on his way.

 _To be continued..._


	14. Seek Help

**Sorry, I've been gone for an eternity! School just started...school. Sigh. Anyways, I'm still writing! Don't worry! I never forgot about you guys, I think about you everyday! I actually have a new story idea. I'm gonna get to it soon! Please, enjoy this chapter and fill me in with any ideas or anything you want to read in this story and any of the others!**

 _"Why would you feel guilty?"_

 _"Because I was his influence. I was yours too. When your mother got sick, you were out partying and Jay was out fighting a war. You'd come home drunk with pills in your pocket and Jay would come home wanting the same damn thing."_

 _"Dad-"_

 _"Even when he was a teenager, still in highschool, he'd be into that stuff. I'd find it hidden in his room or in his car. He'd skip school for it. It killed me to see my own kid with bloodshot, dilated eyes. Having to go to the hospital because of it."_

 _"Mom tried to help you."_

 _"Well, it was my own damn fault that I left." He admitted. It was shocking that he did admit it all. And he said it seriously. He meant it. It was silent for a moment, but Will needed time to process everything._

 _"I'll see you at the funeral." Will said finally. That sentence told his father that he could come, and Will went on his way._

 _To be continued…_

Two Days Later:

The funeral service was outside, on a dreary day. The casket sat there as the wind blew the tree leaves around the graveyard. Family members and friends gathered, but there weren't many.

Erin showed up, hoping to see Jay, as well as Mouse and the rest of Intelligence, along with Burgess and Platt.

Dr. Charles, Will, and some other of Will's close co-workers from Med showed.

The only person they didn't see, was Jay Halstead.

And it's not because his father showed up to the funeral.

In front of the crowd of chairs and people, all dressed in black, Erin stood in front and began to speak. Will would, it was his mother after all. But, he was too broken to even get any words out that sounded right.

"Ever since Jay came into the Intelligence Unit, we've all gotten close to each other. I know his mother was such a sweetheart, a lot of you probably do," She began, and softly smiled, along with the people, as she spoke about Jay's mother,"She'd always come to the Unit and bring food or just come to visit. She was like a detective herself when it came to looking over our whiteboard.

"One thing I did know, is that she was a big ingredient in the glue that held Jay together. Now, she's gone and...and Jay is a part of what glues Intelligence together. We're going to try our best to help him get through this. Along with his brother, and the team. We'll get through this together.

"Mary Halstead was a...being incredible women. She fought hard and strong, with her two sons to help her get along."

Erin's words touched everyone in the crowd. She tried her hardest not to wander her eyes in order to spot Jay.

He didn't come. That's what everyone thought.

But, he did show up. Only he was hiding in the distant trees, in his leather jacket and dark clothing.

He could hear Erin speaking as the wind whistled and blew her hair around. Her black clothes complimented her frame as she stood in front of everyone.

Jay even looked back behind him at the gravestone that labeled,

'Ben Corson

1999-2007' on it.

He looked back at the funeral, and listened in as Erin's spoke her final words for her speech.

"I can't say why Jay isn't here, but...I know he has a reason. I know he loved her. He still does. I know we're gonna help him and his brother through this."

Minutes later, everyone stood up as the casket was about to be lowered into the grave. In the distance, Collin Halstead could see his son in the distance.

He saw how much of a wreck his son was. He looked so tired and done, like he could collapse. Like he was empty.

Collin looked at his son, and they finally met eye contact. Halstead Senior didn't move or speak. He just kept his eyes locked on his son in concern. In guilt, grief, and sadness.

By Collin's eyes, he tried to tell his son how much he understood. Like he knew what Jay was going through.

But, by Jay's eyes...he had no damn clue.

By his eyes...Collin Halstead wasn't his father.

He was never his father and he was never going to be.

Hours Later:

It was nearly midnight when Will came home, exhausted. He stopped at a bar on his way. Afterwards, he tried to call his brother a few times, but figured he was either home asleep or at a bar himself.

Once Will got home, he walked into a dark apartment. There were no lights on. Was Jay home and asleep already? Shocker, Will thought.

But, then he looked in Jay's bedroom, he wasn't there.

Will's heart skipped a beat, but he knows Jay almost never sleeps now a days, he was probably out somewhere.

Will checked the couch, in cade Jay passed out there. He checked the whole house, even called his name. Jay was nowhere to be found.

He felt worried, but he figured that with Jay's his schedule, he was probably doing something stupid. Will didn't necessarily trust his brother at the moment. Since he could really do something stupid at any point in time. He was probably out getting wasted with random people, or by himself.

Sometimes he took the drinking lightly. He'd drink a little, then think, and repeat.

Will figured he'd call Erin and notify her, just in case he happened to show up at her apartment.

"Hello?" Erin said, groggy and tired liked she'd been half asleep already.

"Hey, Erin." Will replied.

"Will? What are you doing, it's like midnight."

"I know. I know, I just got home a few minutes ago. I just... Jay's not here."

"He usually is though, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's why I'm nervous. I just...I don't think anything's wrong. He's probably at a bar or something. He's smart enough not to drive while he's drunk. But, I just wanted to tell you in case he shows up at your place."

"O-okay. Thanks, Will...I'm sure he's alright."

"Yeah...I'll call you if he comes back."

"Alright. See you, Will."

"Bye."

After they hung up, Erin's curiosity got the best of her. So, she called Jay a couple times, but she got no answer.

She eventually called Mouse to tell him the same thing.

"Hey, Erin."

"Hey, Mouse...wait...why don't you sound tired?" Erin assumed that Mouse hadn't been sleeping either. Of course, he's been on a battlefield almost 24/7 in Afghanistan. Mouse sounded nothing like her tired self when she answered Will's call.

"I haven't slept yet, but...I-I'm used to it. So what's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you...uh...Will called me. He said Jay never came home."

"He wasn't at the funeral either."

"Yeah. We're both kind of worried. But, I don't think he's in any kind of trouble. He's smart enough not drive if...you know."

"Yeah, um, I'll keep in touch if he comes."

"Thanks, Mouse."

"Of course. I just wonder how he's gonna take on another tour when he barely even comes to work."

"I guess we need to get him in line."

"We'll have to find him first."

To be continued...


	15. Sick and Tired

**A/N: I KNOW DON'T KILL ME IM SO SORRY! I know you guys hate me, I've been gone for a month?! My loves, I haven't forgotten about you! I think about you everyday, you can't imagine how bad it hurts me that I can never post. School just started and I'm tired the hell out, my phone died,vlike it wouldn't turn back on, so we had to send it in just so they could "fix it" for two weeks and then just end up sending me a new one. Then my old phone, the one I'm using until mine comes back in tomorrow, has no storage so I can't download Google docs. My computer connection is shit and I try so hard to get it to work. I've written chapters in advance for you when my computer worked better, so when I get my phone back, I can start writing and posting even more!**

 **Looking back on the chapter I left you on, I left you with a HELL of a cliffhanger!**

 **I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T POSTED IN A MONTH!**

 **Just please know, that I never forget about y'all and I think about you everyday. I feel so bad for not posting. But, know that** **I will never stop posting.** **I'm always reading on here and reading y'all's stories.**

 **So, next time I don't podtpost within a week, please go to my twitter ( DawseysLinstead) and yell at me to get my ass to updating!**

 **Please enjoy this chapter! If you have any suggestions or comments, anything you want to read or you want me to write, please twitter message me, review, or PM!**

 _"Hey, Erin."_

 _"Hey, Mouse...wait...why don't you sound tired?" Erin assumed that Mouse hadn't been sleeping either. Of course, he's been on a battlefield almost 24/7 in Afghanistan. Mouse sounded nothing like her tired self when she answered Will's call._

 _"I haven't slept yet, but...I-I'm used to it. So what's up?"_

 _"I just wanted to tell you...uh...Will called me. He said Jay never came home."_

 _"He wasn't at the funeral either."_

 _"Yeah. We're both kind of worried. But, I don't think he's in any kind of trouble. He's smart enough not drive if...you know."_

 _"Yeah, um, I'll keep in touch if he comes."_

 _"Thanks, Mouse."_

 _"Of course. I just wonder how he's gonna take on another tour when he barely even comes to work."_

 _"I guess we need to get him in line."_

 _"We'll have to find him first."_

 _To be continued…_

 **The Next Day:**

Jay woke up feeling like absolute hell. Then, he realized he was in his car. The twisting part was that he had no recollection of the night before. He tried to think, but couldn't get his mind around it.

He looked around at his surroundings outside, he knew where he was, but was clueless of how he got there.

God, he was exhausted.

He felt nauseous as he looked at the bright any in front of him. And it was raining, it wasn't even that bright. It hurt his eyes, which made his migraine even worse, which made him nauseous. But, he tried his hardest to get used to the light.

He looked to his right, towards the passenger's seat, and noticed a bottle of whiskey on the seat. It was more than half drank. Really, what the hell did he do last night?

He figured he'd just go back home and sleep it off. Because he felt like he got 10 seconds of shut eye until he woke up feeling like he was hit by a bus.

He had no clue what time it was...dead phone.

Just great.

He turned the key in the ignition and...it stalled.

No gas.

No gas?!

Jay felt like he wanted to get angry, but didn't have the effort to try.

So he decided to walk it, just before snatching his umbrella from the backseat.

He got out of the car and walked from the backstreet that he was parked at and began to make his way home.

 **The Intelligence Precinct:**

"How's Jay been." Ruzek said, breaking the silence of Intelligence. Without Jay it felt a little darker than before. Ever since he and Mouse began the war it felt this way. Somehow, Mouse usually came to work everyday. Unless he had a bad day, but usually he'd distract himself with work, like Will.

Ruzek's question turned everyone intrigued, as Mouse and Erin looked at each other, knowing what they talked about last night. Erin bit the inside of her cheek for a moment before speaking.

"Will said he never came home last night." Erin replied.

"Not this morning either. He's never heard from him yet." Mouse said.

"You give Jay a call?" Antoni questioned curiously.

"We both did. All three of us did actually."

"I don't know where the hell he could be…" Erin said, seeming like that's all should could say about Jay's position.

She looked over at Voight's closed office door and figured that she needed to talk to him. Not only for Jay's sake, but she felt like she needed to cry. She hoped she wouldn't do that though.

She made her way to his door and knocked before entering. She shut it behind her and inched over to the chairs in front of his desk.

She looked so rundown and scared. Like she was a lost kid. This situation took the life out of her.

"What's up, kid?" Voight said, seeing her upset eyes.

"... Jay's...gone." She replied. She felt like 'gone' was the only way to describe it.

"What do you mean 'gone'?"

"Will called last night and told me Jay never came home. He wasn't there when Will got there and he never came home this morning either."

"He call him?"

"A few times. So did I and so did Mouse."

"No answer?"

"No... I'm scared, Hank. What if he doesn't want to come back?"

"It's not like he went far."

"What if he doesn't want to be found? What if he's off drinking himself to death? Or doing something else stupid? God, I should of been more cautious with him in this."

"Don't put this in yourself, Erin. He's gonna come back, alright?"

"Hank, you didn't see how bad he was...I've never seen him more vulnerable. His eyes just...he didn't even want to look at me...but if you caught a glimpse, you could just see how empty he was."

"One thing I know about Jay is that he doesn't give up. I know what he's been through. It's a lot. But, I know he's not going down like this."

"I hope you're right." She said finally, and she turned her eyes to Jay's badge that sat on Voight's back counter.

She sat up and walked towards it, picking it up gently, like it was the most fragile thing ever.

She clenched her teeth together inside her mouth and felt tears burn in her eyes. The next thing she knew, and few tears fell down her cheeks. She tried to wipe them off before Voight saw them, but her pink nose told him that she needed reassurance.

"He'll come back." He said, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

 **Hours Later:**

What Jay didn't know was that it was nearly six o'clock. It was that time of year where the city got dark early. So, it was near to darkness.

The rain still pelted on Jay's umbrella. He seemed like a casualty, walking in Chicago just like others, but if he didn't have his head down, everyone would see how beat up he looked.

It didn't take him too long to reach his apartment building. He entered through the front, shaking the water off his umbrella and closing it beforehand. The light was even brighter in there, but he only continued to walk up the few flights of stairs to his apartment.

Inside, Will had been in the kitchen, making a coffee. He got back from work about an hour ago. There was still no Jay. Of course, he already called to tell the Unit. Of course, he tried to call Jay several times throughout the day.

Nothing.

He felt hopeless, like Jay just left and didn't want to come back. He was so tired and exhausted. But, he couldn't sleep. No. What if Jay came back? He had to be there.

But, once he heard the front door click open, he sprung into action, rushing from the kitchen.

He stood before the small foyer, as he watched with wide eyes as Jay entered. The young Halstead moved slowly and tiredly. He turned around to shut the door and set the dripping umbrella against the wall.

He could feel his brother's eyes set on him.

"Jay?" Will asked. Jay turned around, looking down, trying to hide his face and how horrible he looked. He was a wreck. A mess.

He couldn't hide it any longer, as he eventually looked to his brother and they locked eyes. Jay's seemed so empty, it hurt Will to look at him.

"Where the hell...what the hell happened?" Will questioned. He wasn't mad, he was only worried sick.

"It doesn't matter." Jay responded, carelessly, but with much shame in his voice.

"It does. Jay…"

"I don't remember…"

"What's that mean?"

"I woke up in my car and...I don't-" Jay struggled with his words. He didn't want to explain, really. The more movement and expression he put into caring to explain, the more his head pounded. The more he felt like he couldn't breathe. The more nausea and anxiety he felt. The more the pressure pounded out hot flashes on his body. Even though he was shivering from the Chicago cold, he was still hot. He could feel himself trembling and his breath coming out heavy through his mouth.

The exertion of energy he gave to speak with force was even too much.

He shut his eyes and tried to breathe to ease his agony. He felt like he was near to falling over and his whole body felt weak.

Almost falling, he moved his arm quickly up to the wall where he held himself up.

Will acted swiftly at his brother's sudden movement.

"Woah, take it easy, you alright?" Will said, gripping Jay's elbow before he had a chance to buckle.

"Yeah, n-no, I'm fine. I'm fine." Jay said, trying to hide the truth.

In terms of both Jay's mental and physical state, he was nowhere near to being alright.

"Jay, I think you need to sit down." Will suggested, just as Jay pulled himself off the wall. He didn't seem steady at all.

Will knew that at any second, his brother was going to collapse.

"Jay, you're shaking, you need to sit down." Will insisted.

To be continued...


	16. Discovering a Downward Spiral

**A/N: Hey, guys and gals! It hasn't been a month?! Wowza! Good job, me! LOL! Well, here is another chapter for you all, sorry it's a little short. I promise they are going to get longer and juicier! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review for anything you would like to read or any suggestions for anything! Also, I will be getting to updating LDFTE as soon as possible! Business and writer's block do not go well together!**

 _Will acted swiftly at his brother's sudden movement._

 _"Woah, take it easy, you alright?" Will said, gripping Jay's elbow before he had a chance to buckle._

 _"Yeah, n-no, I'm fine. I'm fine." Jay said, trying to hide the truth._

 _In terms of both Jay's mental and physical state, he was nowhere near to being alright._

 _"Jay, I think you need to sit down." Will suggested, just as Jay pulled himself off the wall. He didn't seem steady at all._

 _Will knew that at any second, his brother was going to collapse._

 _"Jay, you're shaking, you need to sit down." Will insisted._

 _To be continued..._

 **At Chicago Med:**

"Incoming!" Shouted Maggie from the desk. She rushed over just to meet the moving stretcher.

The paramedics rushed Jay inside, with Will walking with the gurney. Jay had an oxygen mask on and his heart was barely beating. His eyes were closed and he lay unmoving and unaware of everything that was happening.

"Trauma 1 is open!" Maggie said once again. The paramedics explained the situation and the doctors got to work.

 **Later:**

It had been almost an hour since Jay had been taken to the emergency room. He was admitted into the ICU moments ago. Will had been sitting in a chair next to him ever since.

He kept going over it in his head. He was relieved when he heard the door open, but when his brother called out, with so much pain and almost fear in his voice, it destroyed all feelings of relief.

Will wasn't working, so it wasn't his job to figure out what the hell had happened. But, he was trying his hardest to restrict himself from thinking about it. He knew that his co-workers were doing what they could to figure this out.

Without any detail of where Jay was and what happened, it was difficult to figure out.

As of now, Jay had been covered in wires that lead to his chest and an IV tube that pumped energizing and hydrating fluids into Jay's system. As well as medication to keep Jay's heart rhythm intact.

Will had called the unit to tell them that he found Jay, at least Jay found him, and that he was stable.

By the time they got there, Will had fallen asleep next to his brother's bedside. He was exhausted, but being the big brother that he is, he couldn't leave Jay's side.

Outside of the room, Intelligence was talking to another co-worker that was working on Jay when he was brought in.

"Dr. Halstead explained that he came into the house and the next thing he knew, his brother was unconscious. We're running a test to figure out whatever came over Detective Halstead. But, for now he's stable, and should wake up soon." The doctor explained.

The team had nothing to say, but nod and thank the doctor for filling them in with as much as be could. No one knew where Jay was. No one knew what happened.

They just had to wait for answers.

 **Hours Later:**

Jay finally woke up to the dark room he was in. He realized his brother was sitting right next to him, fast asleep in a chair. He knows that Will has been having a hard time, too. He deserved some sleep.

Jay wandered his eyes around, as he was trying to recollect the pieces of events that put him in a hospital bed.

He didn't know why his head was hurting, he didn't know why he was achy, he didn't know why he was so exhausted.

He figured the same, that maybe it was a panic attack. He's ended up in the hospital because of panic attacks back in the day. But, it felt like this was much more than panic disorder.

Given the fact that he hasn't had an attack in years, panic disorder doesn't just go away.

Neither does PTSD. Or depression.

It sticks with you and comes out during the bad times, and only makes the bad times even worse.

After a while, Will finally woke up in high hopes that his brother was, too. He was relieved to see that he was.

"Hey, brother." Will said with a bit of slang in his voice.

"Hey." He replied in a raspy tone.

"...you scared the hell out of me, you know?"

"Hm, yeah." Jay said with a generous scoff, as he tried to reposition himself. But, it only lead to the feeling of pain in his chest and the rest of his achy body.

"You alright?" Will asked, sitting up in his chair to make sure he could help Jay if he needed it.

"Mmh...yeah."

"Just take it easy until test results come in. We're gonna figure this out." Will turned up the corner of his mouth for a moment, locking eyes with his brother. Jay's eyes looked so rheumy, yet dead deep inside. Will could tell his brother was on the fringe of breaking into tears.

"Hey, you're okay." Will consoled him, sitting up from his chair, scooting it in to put a hand on his brother's forearm.

"I don't even remember what happened, I…" Jay said, voice cracking under the pressure he had put himself in. He didn't understand why he was so emotional, but didn't feel like it was human nature. For him anyways. It had always been that the Halstead boys couldn't cry, no matter what. But, both brothers had broken that rule several times, even though Jay tried to conceal it as much as possible.

"Hey, we'll figure it out, alright?" The older Halstead watched as his baby brother nodded his head, but only for it to turn into him shaking his head, accompanied with a nearly unnoticeable, heartbreaking sob.

Soon later, Intelligence, including Mouse, and Will gathered in the hallway, and Jay was fast asleep again, figuring that he was probably going to be staying overnight. The doctor who ran the tests finally came back with the results.

"We performed an echocardiogram while Jay was resting. By those results we confirmed it wasn't a result of panic disorder or anything like that. We know he's had a history of panic disorder. But we diagnosed Jay with exhaustion." The doctor explained.

"Are you gonna keep him overnight?" Erin asked.

"We're going to need to, yes. But, he should make a recovery from this." She replied, and looked over at Will.

Jay was stable, and that's all that mattered right now. They were going to help Jay through the rest of this.

Because everyone knew this was only the beginning of Jay's downward spiral.

To be continued...


	17. Back in Trouble

**A/N: Hey, y'all! I'm back with another update! I hope you enjoy this one, it's a bit if a time skip, but it's pretty good!**

 **The other day I tweeted that I'd need an oxygen tank for that night's episode, the CPD twitter handle tagged CM and I just about laughed out loud! I also met a friend in my school who likes CM and I finally have someone to fangirl who knowns what I'm talking about! I have a friend who let's me rant about all three shows, even though she doesn't watch them, but she never tells me to shut up like my other friends! She's even going to try to watch them I'm so proud! Lol!**

 **But, promo for that last CF episode? Are you dying, too?! Cause I am!**

 **That last CM promo I saw my baby Halstead crying I am NOT for that!**

 **I was talking to those two friends I just mentioned about the promo. The one who watches CM nearly died when she saw it, too. Then the other friend keeps asking me if the Halstead brothers had a scene where Jay was in the hospital and Will was taking care of him yet. I nearly died! I talk about these shows so much she pretty much knows the shows, lol!**

 **Don't forget to leave a review about what you would like to read and how you liked the chapter! I've been writing some new stories so I'll see when I can get those up! I love reading all of your stories too, so never stop writing, loves!**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

" _We performed an echocardiogram while Jay was resting. By those results we confirmed it wasn't a panic attack. We know he's had a history of panic disorder. But, Jay has something called vasovagal syncope. In his case, it was stress induced. This is what caused the panic attack-like symptoms. But, it was too severe to be a panic attack. Although they can be this bad, the two are still a bit different." The doctor explained._

" _Are you gonna keep him overnight?" Erin asked._

" _We're going to need to, yes. But, he should make a recovery from this. After all, he has a doctor brother to make sure he's doing okay." She replied, and looked over at Will._

 _Jay was stable, and that's all that mattered right now. They were going to help Jay through the rest of this._

 _Because everyone knew this was only the beginning of Jay's downward spiral._

 _To be continued…_

 **Two Weeks Into the Last Tour:**

Last two tours were only a foreshadow of what would come in the last one. As usual, there had to be an invasion somewhere in the mix. It hasn't happened yet, but it usually does.

That's what the soldiers were expecting during this tour. But, they just had to wait it out.

Last war that Jay and Mouse fought together was in Korengal Valley: a mountain range that was trees lining, thousands of them across the peaks. Down below it was a windy dust bowl with scattered buildings.

This time, they were in Kabul. It's the largest city in Afghanistan, located in the eastern area of the country. Over three million people have tight packed, shoddy buildings to live in next to one another. It's hot and dusty. The hills and mountains are rolled and wide, but not very steep. There are few, especially where the war was happening.

The soldiers fought on the outer ends of the city, on the west. The further you got from the middle of the city, the less crowded buildings were. And it was just the right place for soldiers to house themselves in.

Although they weren't the most enclosed buildings, they were suitable for tents and beds. Unenclosed usually meant a large door frame with nothing to cover it. Some were near to falling over, but most were stable enough for shelter. If anything, a tarp over the doorframe was good enough.

Most shelters had room for 2-4 people. In this case, Mouse and Jay took one of the smaller shelters and made themselves at home. It was good enough for them. Until they got invaded, which would put them in the position of sleeping in Humvees out in a deserted area. Out there, you'd have to sleep with your gun. You'd needed to be prepared at all times.

Different soldiers were in the army fro different things. For medicine and health care, technology, police force, etc.

Those in health care usually were set up and staying at the field hospital. Where soldiers go when they're injured or sick while fighting or during downtime. From there, they'd be transferred to a general hospital in a different country. Then, to if they were stable enough, they'd be sent to a hospital back in America.

It's already been two weeks into the tour and not much has happened. Many Units had been sent into the center of the town to scatter and search. The Battalions had been scattered at the edges of the city.

In this case, Jay and Mouse.

They had been in the 3rd Battalion last war. They were moved up to the 2nd Battalion.

Some of the time, Mouse would be sent to the technology precinct building to assist the tech unit there. He was smart as hell and could hack anything you told him to, and with very good timing, too.

For now, Jay and Mouse sat in their small shelter with a tiny, portable television with an antenna. Sitting back against the wall behind their surprisingly sturdy beds, they talked and watched whatever they could find on the small television.

 **Jay's POV:**

Usually when there was no combat going on, the soldiers would play sports and have fun on their down time. Or they would work. Most of them, at the moment, were preparing for an invasion. Two weeks into the tour almost nothing had been happening. I mean, the enemy had to be planning something right?

I nearly got lost in thought until Mouse started doing the "earth-to-Jay" thing. I zone out a lot lately. It's nothing I can help, really...I just can't stop thinking about...you know.

"I wonder what's going through your head right now." Mouse said, implying for me to actually talk to him about this stuff.

"I know what's going through your's." I replied. sarcastically with a smirk.

"Yeah, I"m trying to figure out what's going through your's."

"I bet you are."

I was stalling.

"You're stalling." Mouse said. I was silent when I realized he was practically admitting that for me. He sat up a slid to the edge of his bed with his feet on the floor. He sat there looking at me, waiting for me to speak. I hear from so many people that it's good to just talk to someone. It's hard. But, I guess it

I inhaled like I was exhausted, like I was tired of talking, but i did it anyways. I sat up and let one leg hang over the bed and the other sit under me, half criss-crossed.

"I just can't wrap my head around…" I began to speak. But, I was caught in my words. This is why this was hard.

"Around?" Mouse questioned as I stopped for a moment to think.

"About my mom. My dad and the money."

"It's been a while already though. I thought you doing okay."

"Better than I thought I would be doing, but...I still can't get around it all the way…" My voice faded away as I tried not to show my grief. I knew it was going to happen. My eyes were going to start burning as I tried to keep them open instead of blinking the tears away.

"You don't have to yet. It takes time. Especially since we're going through this right now."

"I know…I-I mean...I'll get through it...I just don't know when...or how, really."

I looked down at the floor, honestly feeling my mind twist around everything. I was lost in thought again, and it hurt.

I drowned in thought, and I knew Mouse looked at me with his concerned eyes and furrowed eyebrows. He tried to move his chin down in order to get my attention, but I was just lost.

I was lost, until the unexpected happened.

It sounded like a gunshot...no...more like a thousand gunshots all sounding all at once. I flinched and gasped, and looked over towards the wall where I heard the loud bang. That's how I get headaches, how about you?

And just at that second, Mouse swore loudly and reached over to grab me and pull me to the ground with him. We were chest and stomach to the ground as we heard rubble and dust shatter against the side of our shelter. It was concrete and pretty sturdy, but not enough, as some of the cracked parts of the concrete wall flew in on the floor of our shelter along with the dust and rubble.

We covered our heads and felt like we were nearly glued to the ground. Mouse had his arm still wrapped around me, and his other covered the back of his head.

I was almost on my side, just laying on top of my right shoulder. My other arm was over my head, too.

Both of us flailed as we stumbled to the ground and trembled with each other.

"What the hell?" Mouse said. All I could do was shake and breathe heavy. That was biggest snap to reality I've had. Ever. Just imagine getting lost in your head and then the loudest damn noise hits you like you were just struck in the back of the head with a pan.

And Mouse pulling me to the ground...it took my breath away.

It almost sent me into full panic. I know I was panicked more than Mouse was.

Mouse and I both looked up as everything settled a little bit, but my lack of breath made me feel lightheaded. I pull my shoulder from under me so I'm laying on my chest. But, I can barely keep my focus without my ,now pounding, head from messing with my stomach. I was nauseous and panicked and dizzy all at the same time.

I shut my eyes and lay my forehead onto my exposed forearm. I could tell that Mouse's concerned eyes were looking at me. I could feel the sweat-matted forehead on my arm. But my arm was cool, and it chilled the heat coming off of me. I finally felt content again.

"Jay, you alright?" Mouse questioned me. I nodded and inhaled.

"Just...I got a little unsteady for a second." I told him. He gripped my shoulder with the hand that he still had wrapped around me. He looked up at the wall that would have been destroyed if that bomb was any closer. In the distance we could hear firearms and more explosions going off.

"Looks like the invasion came early this tour." Mouse said. It was a bit lightening to the mood, but not enough to assure both of us that this situation wasn't real. Because it was, a which was the shitty part.

 _To be continued..._

 **Don't forget to leave a review on what you would like to read and how you liked this chapter!**

 **Love you, loves!**


	18. Stop the Truck!

**A/N: Hey, guys! Don't worry the story is still going! I just got a comment telling me they hoped the story wasn't over. Don't worry my dear friend, it is, as well as LDFTE. I finally got free time away from homework to actually sit down and write at my computer for once! I actually got off of the writer's block on LDFTE, so hopefully I can get y'all a chapter up soon! I can't believe I actually wrote something on the chapter for that story, it's been like months OMFG! So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will hopefully get the chapter for LDFTE by possibly , remind me all you want and don't forget to review!**

"Jay, _you alright?" Mouse questioned me. I nodded and inhaled._

" _Just...I got a little unsteady for a second." I told him. He gripped my shoulder with the hand that he still had wrapped around me. He looked up at the wall that would have been destroyed if that bomb was any closer. In the distance we could hear firearms and more explosions going off._

" _Looks like the invasion came early this tour." Mouse said. It was a bit lightening to the mood, but not enough to assure both of us that this situation wasn't real. Because it was, a which was the shitty part._

 _To be continued..._

 **Mouse's POV:**

I woke up, and I could tell I wasn't in the shelter. I could hear chattering outside, it probably meant there were soldiers up on watch.

It's not that I forgot what happened. I guess it was just a blur, I was exhausted. I mean, I had to hit the floor faster the than the speed of sound, along with getting Jay down, too.

I'm glad that we were both safe, but I heard a few others were injured. I don't think anyone was beyond that, if you know what I mean.

When I opened my eyes, I was looking at a wall. But it wasn't the wall of a structure. I'd been sleeping in the bed of the Humvee. Luckily it was covered. Then I realized it was the one Jay and I had driven. I turned onto my back and looked to the other side.

I saw Jay resting next to me, his back facing me. In my peripheral vision I could see people standing out front of our Humvee. Soldiers. They were guarding us and the others who were resting around us. There were many Humvees packed together. In invasion situations this is all the shelter we had. Either that or we dug ditches in the ground and slept in there.

I didn't know what time it was until I looked at my watch. It was nearly midnight. It felt like a whole night had passed, but it'd only been a few hours since we had moved to shelter in the Humvees.

I wondered if I should wake Jay up. We'd traveled somewhat farther from the town last night in order to plan on advance for the invasion. Units had gone to clear the area near the warfield of citizens.

I was near to leaving Jay to rest for a while, until I heard commotion outside. I rose up from the spot where I rested and I was shocked as the back of the Humvee opened. I was tempted to pull my gun from next to me. I set my hand on top of it, but I was relieved when two soldiers pulled the door open.

"We gotta get a move on." One of them said, Joe Mason to be exact. I took my hand off my gun and swiftly pulled my blanket away from me. Jay didn't even move.

"Jay...Jay! Up and at 'em, we gotta go!" I told him. Then continued with the question of, what the hell was going on, to the two other men.

"The Units that went to clear the town are under attack. We gotta go." said the other soldier, Thomas Stephens.

Meanwhile, as I tried to get Jay up, Mason disappeared to the side of the vehicle where he climbed into the driver's seat.

Jay finally woke up. He seemed like he needed a week's worth of sleep, but he got up anyways.

After a few minutes, we were set to leave. I jumped in the passenger's seat with the window down and my gun ready. Jay and Stephens were the best out of the four of us with aiming and shooting guns. So, they were the two that stood out of the sunroof to shoot from above. Stephens stood facing the back and Jay faced the front. I was extra coverage out the passenger's window.

 **Jay's POV:**

I felt exhausted from earlier. It's pretty obvious. I mean, I could barely get up. But, I did.

The Humvee sped on with the others. We were now in a convoy heading to town. I could feel the wind beat hard and the dust sweep up with it. Luckily my face was covered.

We reached the town, and shots were already being fired. It was chaotic. In the distance, you could see smoke, from IEDs or fires from them, there were both, definitely. Every which way, there were citizens watching. Most of the soldiers were walking around from building to building trying to find people and get them somewhere else to hide. We weren't just being invaded, these citizens were, too.

We stormed into the town and it was pure havoc. Every few seconds I had to blow a bullet from my gun. I usually didn't miss, but it was dark, I really couldn't see. We didn't necessarily have any light besides that flashlights on our guns and the headlights of the Humvees.

We went at it for a while. But, eventually, all I began to see were bodies dropping. Whether it was snipers, citizens, or some of our own. It really got to me when I began to focus on it.

We began to take snipers down, but a lot of them were hidden. A lot of our men and the citizens that hasn't been reached yet had been going down.

I stopped shooting for a moment as I focused in on two of our men. Their backs were faced to each other. They had their guns up and shooting. But, suddenly, one of the men was hit. He fell to his knees and I could see his blood so clearly. I guess Mouse saw the same thing, and had eyes on the shooter better than I did, so he shot and took the sniper down.

The other soldier turned around and grasped the fallen soldier in his arms as they sunk to the ground. The man quickly pulled the other inside a nearby shelter.

I looked away and continued with my bullets. All soldiers know never to give up on or leave a soldier behind.

I needed trust that he'd be alright.

Just as I looked back to the view level of my guns barrel, I noticed something straight in my view.

This is when everything began to go in slow motion.

It was the most vivid thing I'd ever seen.

It was a bullet...heading straight for me.

I knew it was coming fast. I couldn't even think for a moment it was going so fast.

I know it felt like slow motion, but Jay Halstead, you need to move out of the damn way!

Everything began to go fast again. I decided I needed to move. So I inched to my left. More like "footed" to the left, when the Humvee made a sharp turn just as I moved, causing me to jam my side into the sun roof's edge even harder than I expected.

He winced and inhaled sharply, shutting my eyes I tried to get through the throbbing pain.

I bet Mouse and Mason could hear my gun banging against the roof.

During that, I could feel my head being forced back as the bullet that came for me, skid just against the right side of my helmet. I gasped.

Well, that was unexpected.

No...what was really unexpected was the next bullet that would have planted into my shoulder if I'd stood to my full height.

But, it did nick my the top of my shoulder. I definitely drew blood, I could see it. It was excruciating pain for a moment. I yelled in agony and dropped my gun to the floor of the Humvee where I stood.

Along with my gun, I dropped to the ground. My body was shaking and the anxiety I felt was crippling.

God...I was trembling so hard. My vision blurred and I tried to make my way to the back of the passengers seat in order to lean on it. I sat and winced from the pain in my shoulder while Mouse raced from his seat and over to me.

Just as he kneeled down, he noticed the small gash on my shoulder. Things were fuzzy in my eyes, but I could see Mouse turning around and going through things, trying to find something to pressure my wound with.

My eyes were opened wide and my breath was shaky and heavy. I couldn't focus completely, only on my pounding headache...it was killing me.

The pain in my shoulder.

The anxiety the flared in my chest and all the way through my body.

The way it trembled.

All I could feel was agony.

I knew I was panicking.

I took my left hand and reached up slowly to my shoulder, and pulled it away, only to see the blood from the wound pooled in my glove.

Mouse turned back around, swiveling down to me in a kneel. He took a small towel and held it over my wound, exerting pressure. It hurt and stung, even though it was numb from the fast force of the bullet. I still felt it. I winced and made a small whimper as he pressed down.

Once he made full force to my wound, my eyes began to drift from his concerned face. I felt like I was looking at nothing. Beside that fact that it was dark and I could barely see from the blur in my eyes, I began having flashbacks.

I couldn't control it.

As I drifted into the memories, I could feel the hot flashes that made my body scream.

My chest heaved for air. My mind begged to get away from these nightmares that haunted me right now.

I could see bullets, blood. I could see soldiers falling to their knees, to the ground. I could Erin, hurt in New York. I could see Terri, bleeding out right under my fingertips.

I couldn't take it…

I could feel my body becoming stiff and I felt scared, still anxious. My chin quivered. My eyes burned with tears. I trembled and shook and my breath was struggled and scared.

The next thing I knew, I was pulled from thought as I heard a yell and noticed right next to me, Stephens came falling to the ground with blood rushing from his chest.

Mouse jerked his head toward him, then back to Mason, yelling over his shoulder.

"Stop the truck!" Mouse yelled.

I kept my eyes locked on Stephens as I swallowed hard.

I could see Mason rushing down to Stephens. Mouse still tried to get my attention.

But, I kept watching the scene in front of me.

I kept focusing on my breath getting so heavy it made me nauseous.

I kept shaking that it gave me hot flashes and anxious flares.

My breath... _faster, faster! Heavier, heavier!_

My abdomen and all my muscles in my arms and my legs, to my jaw and my neck...all of them stiffening up.

Then suddenly, the shaking stopped and my blurry vision became more intense...intense... _intense…_

Until it turned into black spots that danced, expanded, multiplied. Until my whole vision was taken over by the familiar darkness.

My body went weak.

The last thing I felt was Mouse holding me and calling my name, that I could only hear with my distorted hearing.

Until I knew nothing anymore.

 _To be continued..._

 **Don't forget to review friends!**

 **Love you, lovelies! Until next chapter!**


	19. Brother's Instinct

**A/N: Hello, everyone! It's been a while, I know, Im always busy, but i will never stop writing! Just remember that. It just takes me some time to write and get these up. But, I never give up on tgese stories. Writing is my passion. So, I'm always here. If you need an update, nudge me in the reviews, my PMs, or on Twitter. I'm never leaving.**

 **These chapter I really, really HELLA love. I hope you do, too.**

 **I almost have LDFTE's next chapter done, so stay tuned for that. Also, please please give me some ideas for that story, I'm having some writer's block. I would love all of y'all's input for what you want to see next.**

 **So, leave a review, enjoy this chapter...and do your thing, babe. ;)**

But, I kept watching the scene in front of me.

I kept focusing on my breath getting so heavy it made me nauseous.

I kept shaking that it gave me hot flashes and anxious flares.

My breath... faster, faster! Heavier, heavier!

My abdomen and all my muscles in my arms and my legs, to my jaw and my neck...all of them stiffening up.

Then suddenly, the shaking stopped and my blurry vision became more intense...intense...intense…

Until it turned into black spots that danced, expanded, multiplied. Until my whole vision was taken over by the familiar darkness.

My body went weak.

The last thing I felt was Mouse holding me and calling my name, that I could only hear with my distorted hearing.

Until I knew nothing anymore.

To be continued…

 **The Field Hospital (Mouse's POV):**

I'd woken up by a gentle hand on my shoulder. It was the doctor, I guess she was here to give me an update on Jay's condition.

I guess I'd been asleep for a while. I had been sitting right next to Jay, I was so anxious to hear what the doctors had confirmed, but I fell asleep. Not that they would have answers right away. I guess now was the time I was going to know.

I didn't want to leave his side, in case something happened. I mean, there were doctors everywhere, but you know, brother's instinct.

"Lieutenant, sorry to wake you. I just thought you'd like to know about Lieutenant Halstead's condition." The doctor said. Most of the doctors here were volunteers from the military or just volunteers in general. You know, that usually work in the medical field.

"Y-yeah. Yeah." I said, as I slid up tiredly in my chair. I stood up as she lead me out of the small space. The only privacy between patients in field hospitals were large curtains, but it wasn't really an issue.

"How about we head to the café. You look like you need a coffee anyways." The doctor offered.

"S-sure." I replied, and I followed her to the café area. It was definitely more quiet. The field hospital wasn't the largest place.

I got a quick coffee and I sat down at a small table with the doctor. I knew her, of course. Everyone knows everyone when it comes to working on the same tours. I never really talked to her, never really got her name either.

"The bullet didn't do much damage, just pierced the tissue. We've confirmed that Lieutenant Halstead also had an event of exhaustion." she explained.

I listened to the woman speak and I realized what she said was very familiar. I didn't know what to think or to feel. I mean, I know that Jay made a good recovery from it last time. It still scared me. Having this happen a second time wasn't good.

"Something wrong?" The doctor asked me, as she saw my concerned, lost-in-thought expression.

"N-no, sorry." I reply.

"You're fine."

"It's just. I'm worried...Jay, he...he had the same thing happen a few weeks before this tour and…"

"You don't know if he'll recover the same?"

"Exactly."

"Well, I can tell you, with a few days to just relax in here, he'll recover just fine." the doctor assured me.

"That's a relief to hear," I said, seeming like that was the only thing I could say, but I continued,"he's had almost everything from a depression state to PTSD…"

"I've been here for a while and I've seen a lot. There's been soldiers who've come in complete shock from PTSD or panic attacks they couldn't escape. I've gotten people in such depressive states that they've…you know..." the doctor stopped, not wanting to finish her sentence. But, I understood.

"I can't believe he managed to make to this tour."

"I know I shouldn't really follow up on this stuff but, if you don't mind me asking, how so?"

"No, it's fine. He, uh, lost his mother just a few months before this tour. He didn't even come to the funeral, he was such a mess."

"I'm sorry to hear that. That must've been difficult, on him. And for you to see him like that."

"Yeah, i-it was. Thank you. I just...hope he can get through all this." I shook my head. The doctor looked at me sympathetically.

"How do you know him?"

"We met during our last draft actually. Then Jay, uh, got me a job in Chicago, working with him at a police district."

"I guess you've through a lot with each other then, huh?"

"Yeah. I've pulled him through a lot. He's done the same. But, we can both agree that he's always had the rougher side of it. That's the part that kills me. I have to watch him struggle and I…"

"Can't really do anything about it?"

"You finish my sentences better than I do." I joked. She chuckled lightly.

"You've got a sense of humor. It's a good thing he has a reliable friend like you."

I scoffed and raised one corner of my mouth for a small smile.

"The ironic thing is that I'm from Chicago, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm a doctor at Lakeshore."

"I'm at the 21st District. I do all the techy, nerdy stuff for Intelligence."

"Wow, a tech nerd? I hear the tech units call you up here if they need some tricky work done."

"Yeah, I'm pretty good, if I do say so myself." I said. This whole conversation was really working out. I think I was getting somewhere.

"Well, the good thing is that we can meet up and have a beer sometime."

"That sounds like a plan." I replied. We smiled at eachother for a moment, until a faint. beeping went off.

"Ah, that's my pager. I gotta get going, but it was nice meeting you, officially…"

"Just call me Mouse."

"Mouse. I'm Sheila. I'll see you 'round." She smiled, and turned to walk from the room.

Wow.

I think my unconscious best friend just got me a date. I'm just gonna stick with that for now.

I decide to head back to Jay, hopefully he woke up in the time I'd been gone. But, no, I came just in time for him to wake up. He'd probably freak out a little bit if no one was there.

But, luckily I got there just in time for him to open his eyes up to the sound of the privacy curtain scraping on it's bar.

He fluttered his eyes gently and inhaled as he looked at me enter the space. I turned around the close the curtain again, and I turned back to Jay to see him looking curiously and worriedly about the IV in his arm and the pulse oximeter on his finger.

I walked over to the chair next I sat in earlier and pulled it closer to Jay's bed to sit.

"Hey, just take it easy. You're in the field hospital. You remember what happened?" I consoled him.

He nodded at my question, telling me he remembered. He relaxed after I assured him that everything was fine.

"S-Stephens…" he breathed out, almost so quiet that may not have heard him. He looked so worried.

"Last I heard, he just got out of surgery, he's stable. He took a quick bullet to the chest. But, he's okay, he'll pull through."

Jay's face filled with guilt, like it was his fault that Stephens got shot. But, it wasn't at all. The bullet hit him from the front, Jay couldn't have seen the bullet, his back was facing Stephens.

I left the topic, mostly to get his mind away from it.

"How's that shoulder doing?" I asked him.

"Uh, it's sore, but it's fine." He replied. And he wasn't lying about how bad it hurt, most of the pain was numbed by the pain meds. Plus, he was too tired to even try to lie, he could barely keep his eyes open.

"I'm glad you pulled through. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know how I would've gotten a date either."

"A date?" He rasped, even more interested than before. He wanted to sit up, but the effort wasn't there. So he just started to grin,"How'd I do that?"

I looked to my right through the small opening in the two curtains, and I saw Sheila standing out there. I smiled, and as I'd on cue, she turned her head and smiled back at me from afar, along with a wink, then went back to her work.

"You want to do my doctor?" Jay said. I didn't replied, instead I just looked back at him.

"She wants to do you?"

I still didn't reply. Ignorance is bliss. It was better if he didn't know. Even though he knew.

"...I guess she's your doctor now, huh?"

And that was the one thing that I couldn't help but chuckle at.

He was my brother. What would I do without him?

To be continued…


	20. Blood From His Bullet

**A/N: Hello, everybody! I hope today and yesterday and the days before that have been good. It's been a while, but I'm here with another update. I would like to thank the guy I met at the library for some of these ideas for the next few chapters. I'm very excited for this one! I hope you will be too, but at the same time, just don't kill me.**

 **I would also like to thank Literally Dawsey for letting me fangirl on Skype about there being no hospital scene or Halstead broment during 3.01 of PD. I will never get over that.**

 **Also, Literally Dawsey and I are planning to write a Matthew Casey fanfiction sometime soon. (And girl, if you're reading this...Matthew!)**

 **Along with that, I am working on two other stories behind the scenes that I hopefully will try to get up, maybe before the New year, but I can't say for sure. They are both Jay Halstead stories. I think you are going to really enjoy them when I get them up.**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter, I know I did! Don't forget to leave a lil' review on your way out!**

" _I'm glad you pulled through. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know how I would've gotten a date either."_

" _A date?" He rasped, even more interested than before. He wanted to sit up, but the effort wasn't there. So he just started to grin,"How'd I do that?"_

 _I looked to my right through the small opening in the two curtains, and I saw Sheila standing out there. I smiled, and as I'd on cue, she turned her head and smiled back at me from afar, along with a wink, then went back to her work._

" _You want to do my doctor?" Jay said. I didn't replied, instead I just looked back at him._

" _She wants to do you?"_

 _I still didn't reply. Ignorance is bliss. It was better if he didn't know. Even though he knew._

" _...I guess she's your doctor now, huh?"_

 _And that was the one thing that I couldn't help but chuckle at._

 _He was my brother. What would I do without him?_

 _To be continued…_

 **Seventeen Weeks Later (Two Weeks Before the End of Your):**

Jay was told to stay away from the war zone for about a week or so. That meant a week or so of hospital, which meant Mouse pretty much had to stay with him. Which also meant he had a while to talk to Sheila before he returned.

Jay felt proud for Mouse when he said he'd been talking to the doctor. He'd been telling him to get a girl for a while now. He's tried hookups at bars and all that drama. But, he wanted something long-term. That was just his style.

Besides the relationships, the soldiers had been fighting almost nonstop for the past few weeks.

It was already the afternoon when Mouse and Jay's Humvee had been blown into a rickety building. The building was destroyed, and the Humvee nearly was. Luckily, neither of the men were inside. The vehicle could probably be prepared, but for now, they weren't worried about the Humvee.

The two soldiers, at the moment, were hid inside a building, sort of like their shelter. It looked like a supply shelter, with things the citizens nearby may have used for cleaning and other things. The door of the shelter and half of that wall were taken off. So, it looked like one open wall, just like Mouse and Jay's shelter.

Guns were firing and dust was flying from the winds that sweep through the town. There were moments of complete silence, where you could hear a pin drop. Dust. Wind. Beating against vehicles and structures. Sand hitting off of other particles of sand. You could feel the concentration between the rivals.

At other points, guns were blazing. Smoke was rising with mounds of sand from IEDs and hand grenades.

The tension was was in the word. It was tense.

 **Jay's POV:**

Mouse and I tried our best to stay out of the line of fire. But, we needed to get somewhere where we could shoot. We had a good eye on things at the moment. But, we couldn't shoot. We could barely step a foot out of the building without being shot at.

Mouse and I agreed that we should make a run for the building across from us. It wasn't too long, but it was long enough to be caught by a bullet. We were taking a risk.

If we got to that building, we could make our way to the barricaded building, where we needed to be at the moment, shooting from the roof. It was a little difficult, since we didn't have a Humvee...

We were able to radio to some others that could watch our backs.

I could feel the anxiety shudder through my body. I stood behind Mouse with our guns at our sides.

"On my three…we run..." Mouse said quietly. It was already so silent. I nodded at him, and he turned his head away from me. I looked at the surroundings I could see in front of me, one last time.

"Alright...let's do this." I said. It turned my full focus and concentration to my surroundings.

Mouse began to count down.

Slowly, from three. As he got to two, I noticed something. Someone. A sniper. With a gun. Mouse inched closer to the outside of the building and the sniper stared him down.

I could tell by the way he was getting ready...he was going to shoot just as Mouse stepped from the structure.

Before I knew it, Mouse counted to one, and stepped two steps out of the building.

"MOUSE, NO!" I yelled.

But, it was too late and a gunshot went off...and Mouse dropped.

"No! Mouse!" I yelled again. I immediately saw blood. So much blood. It came from his shoulder. His right shoulder.

I felt the biggest wave if guilt. I couldn't believe this was happening…

I grabbed his coat and pulled him in towards the shelter. His eyes fluttered and his breath was heavy.

I panicked and I felt tears rush to my eyes.

I needed to get him to safety. Especially now that I heard several more gunshots. Before, it was one of those silent moments. Now, it was pure chaos again. Everywhere, there were gunshots. Sand and dust blew in the wind once again. You could barely see out there.

"Mouse...Mouse...stay with me, brother. Please, stay with me. You're gonna be okay, just hang on!" I said to him. I tried to contrive a plan. My only option was to make a run for it, dragging him with me.

But, the unexpected made me jump into action, when the back of the shelter we were in suddenly collapsed at the sound of a boom.

It was a bomb and it gave me no choice but to get out as the smoke and rubble flew and surrounded us, but I moved, pulling Mouse with me.

 _Halfway there. We're almost there. Just hang on, buddy…_

I thought. He was going to be okay. I was going to get him safe, I know he'll pull through.

But, the next thing I felt was a pain in my chest. Pressure. I began to taste iron. Blood.

 _Blood._

 _I was just hit._

Then another one hit of pressure.

 _BANG!_

Right in my abdomen. I had a vest on of course, but the first one hit me just above the vest. The second one was so strong, I'm surprised it didn't go through and through.

It probably wasn't as strong as it seemed. But, It felt like it. All I could feel, all I could taste, all I could breathe was blood.

I coughed and coughed as blood spattered out. I fell to the ground, with Mouse on top of me. I was pinned under him.

I yelled and grunted in pain.

God, the pressure in my chest, my abdomen...was excruciating. I was in the middle of a firefight, sitting their with my brother, my best friend in the same condition as me. Neither of us could move.

But, I couldn't stop trying.

Mouse had to survive, even if it meant I had to die to save him.

I kicked the leg that I had free and tried with all the force I could exert to move both of us away. I barely got anywhere, until I stopped.

I felt pain, sharp and achy, burning, as tried to sit up and reach for Mouse. His eyes were open, but he was on the verge of going under.

I tried, I tried so hard as I coughed. Blood ran down my chin and from my wounds.

I couldn't move.

 _I couldn't move._

 _I couldn't breathe._

 _I couldn't save my brother._

 _I did this…_

 _This is my fault…_

"M-Mouse, n-not you...n-not now. Don't do this! I already lost...so much...I can't lose you, too…you're gonna be okay…we're gonna be...okay..." I breathed out in pain as I began to sob.

I felt like my hope wasn't there anymore.

I saw Humvees in the distance, no one coming towards us.

 _This is where we I was going to die._

 _Where we were going to die._

 _God...this was all my fault._

Tears poured from my eyes, blood rushed from my mouth. I thought my last thoughts.

 _No...No! I can't let him die here._

I'm gonna die. I'm not gonna die.

Those two thoughts chasing each other in my head.

I tried to pull my brother forward, but I went no where. I tried to save him, but I couldn't.

I could feel the dust and dirt in my eyes. In my mouth, it was gritty and made my coughing even worse.

I struggled.

I couldn't breathe.

 _I couldn't breathe._

I could feel myself weakening as I laid on my back. I looked up at the dusty air, not caring about the particles in my eyes.

With my hand on Mouse's shoulder, I could feel him moving, trying to breathe, trying to speak to me.

I felt tears fall from the corners of my eyes. I could feel the pain of my body and the guilt in my mind. I could feel the hopelessness and despair I felt.

I was going to die here with the best friend that I couldn't save by my side, bleeding out with me.

 **Nobody's POV:**

The two brothers laid there in the open, waiting for help. Well, if their minds had been still thinking.

Mouse knew Jay had been shot. The only thing he thought about was trying to help Jay, but he couldn't move.

Soon, the two friends were both devoured in either shock or unconsciousness.

Mouse was unaware of everything after his consciousness failed him.

Jay lay there with eyes wide open, his body not moving, and his heart slowing down. He was still alive, but he was barely breathing. His body was shaking, but the pain was numbed out.

The gunshots disappeared, but the dust and wind remained.

Finally, several soldiers showed up and immediately pulled Mouse from off of Jay. But, Jay held on to Mouse's caught, like he was stuck with glue.

One of the soldiers hovered over Jay. He could see him through his blurry vision, but he couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"We got Mouse, Halstead! We got him!" The soldier said. Jay heard with his distorted hearing, but he couldn't comprehend the words.

He felt Mouse being pulled away from him. All he felt was the hot sun beat on him with the cool wind blowing against his open wounds and bloodied clothing. Though it was scorching hot, Jay was freezing. He was in complete shock.

He was numb. He couldn't comprehend anything. But, he could still feel the relief that they were found and they were going to go to some sort of safety.

Therefore, he decided that the blur and blackness in his vision could take over.

So, he shut his eyes and knew nothing more.

 _To be continued…_

 **Thank for reading, babes! Until next chapter! Love you, lovelies!**


	21. Fall on Your Knees

**A/N: Hello, Y'all! Long time no chapter! I'm back though, I'm sorry for the delay it's literally been since November. I've been so busy. This chapter is a little short, but pretty power-packed. I even died re-reading it. I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to review or PM me if you want to read anything in this story!**

 _One of the soldiers hovered over Jay. He could see him through his blurry vision, but he couldn't comprehend what was happening._

" _We got Mouse, Halstead! We got him!" The soldier said. Jay heard with his distorted hearing, but he couldn't comprehend the words._

 _He felt Mouse being pulled away from him. All he felt was the hot sun beat on him with the cool wind blowing against his open wounds and bloodied clothing. Though it was scorching hot, Jay was freezing. He was in complete shock._

 _He was numb. He couldn't comprehend anything. But, he could still feel the relief that they were found and they were going to go to some sort of safety._

 _Therefore, he decided that the blur and blackness in his vision could take over._

 _So, he shut his eyes and knew nothing more._

 _To be continued…_

 **At the Field Hospital:**

The soldiers that found Mouse and Jay were able to bring them to a Humvee ambulance that would bring them to the field hospital.

First, Mouse was brought in on a backboard and placed on a stretcher that was brought over by a few doctors.

In the emergency room, Sheila was there. That's where she worked in the field hospital. And she had a bad feeling, that bad feeling caught her eye, and it turned into reality.

Her eyes were wide and shocked. Her jaw dropped and she felt worry and anxiety build up when she saw Mouse being rushed in, nearly unconscious, in shock, and bleeding out. She dropped the papers she held and her hand and rushed towards the gurney he laid on.

She was right at his side, watching his eyes flutter. She could hear him heave for breath under the oxygen mask. She could hear him trying to speak, eventually she got the word that he was repeating.

"Jay…" he whispered, trying to make someone hear him. Sheila did. She heard the word and immediately looked back towards the door that Mouse had entered through. Right there, was Jay being brought in and placed on a stretcher like Mouse. But, Jay was completely unconscious and was being immediately taken to emergency surgery.

"Oh, god…" Sheila said under her breath. She looked back down at Mouse and felt so much panic. 'What the hell had happened?' was her thought.

She saw that Mouse was on the edge, tense, and in pain. She grabbed a hold of his hand and gripped it tight, he did the same.

"Hey, you're gonna be okay. The bullet went through and through. We'll get you patched up, but you gotta stay with me, alright? Jay's gonna be just fine. He's in good hands, okay?" She consoled him. She could tell that he calmed down as she spoke to him.

Sheila and the other medical staff had brought Mouse's gurney to a trauma "room." It was curtained off for privacy, but that's all there was.

Mouse's heart rate had gone up as he worried about Jay. Sheila was able to calm him to the point where he was stable enough for them to patch up his wound. It was through and through, surgery wasn't necessary unless the scores in the ER confirmed if the bullet had damaged anything. But, most likely, the ER surgeon may be able to stitch him up easily. Jay, on the other hand, it was unpredictable how long he'd be in surgery.

Two bullets, one to the chest, the other to the abdomen. It hasn't been confirmed where the bullets had landed inside his body. But, when the doctors said a collapsed lung, that probably meant the bullet had injured his lung.

 **In Chicago:**

Will was at work, not necessarily having his brother on his mind. Of course, everyday he'd think about Jay. If he was okay. What was happening. Will's never been through what his brother has.

He remembered long ago, when Jay was off fighting a war, and he was just partying. They thought the same thing that had happened recently...their mother was dying.

Back then, of course, Jay was affected by it. Especially since he'd been at war. And that his father had left. It was already hard enough for him.

But, unlike then, his mother hadn't been passed away. It made this time even harder for him.

Will hadn't been thinking about it now. But, when he thought of Jay, he always ended up thinking about that and about the irony of how it used to be and how it is now.

Right now, Will was working away and just going through a normal day. But, not until he got a call that changed him from not thinking about his brother, to being unable to get him from his mind.

Only walking from a patient in an examination room, his phone began to ring as he walked to the front desk to file the patient folder in his hand.

He pulled his cellphone from his white lab coat pocket and saw the odd number. It was from the US Army.

Immediately, Will stopped where he was at and stared at the screen, feeling the concern and worry build up inside him as to why he was being called by then. Especially at such a random, unexpected hour.

He hit the answer button and held it up his phone, speaking cautiously with how he allowed his worry to come out.

"Hello?" He responded, with a nervous swallow beforehand.

" _Hello. Is this Dr. Will Halstead?"_ The man spoke to him. The voice sounded and serious and professional. A bit melancholy, as if bad news was just about to be spoken.

"Uh...y-yeah, yes, it is."

" _We have you as the emergency contact for Lt. Jay Halstead. As well as another, Lt. Gregory Gerwitz."_

Will stopped.

Emergency contact...Jay...Mouse...war

 _Oh my god…_ Will thought. Something wasn't right, and he could feel it heavy in his gut.

God, he felt sick now.

" _Is that correct, Dr. Halstead?"_ He spoke again, catching Will back on track from nightmare in his head at the moment.

"Yes, that's correct. I-Is there something wrong?"

" _Both Lieutenants were brought into the emergency room. Lt. Gerwitz suffered and bullet through and through in his right shoulder. Lt. Halstead was brought in with a bullet to the chest and the abdomen. The bullet he took to the abdomen seems to have caused damage to his lung. Doctors confirmed a tension pneumothorax in his right lung, but we have no word on his condition at the moment."_

"O-Oh my god...oh...are they okay?"

" _It seems like we can fix up Lt. Gerwitz, since the went through and through. He lost a lot of blood, but he should be fine with fluids and rest. Lt. Halstead on the other hand, is still in surgery. I can't say how long it'll take."_

"Please, call me when he gets out. I'm Jay's brother. Greg is a close family friend."

" _Okay, will do."_

"Th-thanks." Will said, as he pulls the phone away to realize he'd wandered over to the desk in the middle of the large ER, the file folder He had in hand lay in front of his feet. He felt vulnerable in front of so many people as a few of his co-workers surrounded him in concern.

He furrowed his eyebrows and widened his worried eyes. He felt anxiety hit him so hard that it was almost crippling. He felt sick and he could feel himself leaning over a bit as he felt ill.

It seemed like he stared at nothing, as his were fixed at the ground. He felt his mind wander in awe, shock, and incredulity.

"Will, everything okay?" He heard a soft voice say. It was Natalie Manning, his co-worker. Her eyes were gentle, but seriously set on his as she saw the stun in his face.

"It's Jay a-and Mouse...they were both shot…"

Natalie looked up at him in quite a shock as he was in. He didn't realize until now that her hand was on his shoulder until she gripped it tight, giving her best effort to comfort him.

"How bad is it?"

"M-Mouse, he had one to his shoulder. It was through and through. Jay... Jay's still in surgery. One to his chest and another to his abdomen. They said his lung collapsed...he's...he's still in surgery."

"Will…"

He leaned against the counter, feeling like he wanted to buckle at his knees.

"Hey, he's gonna be fine, alright?" Natalie assured him. He nodded, agreeing with her.

But, in his head, he felt like a wreck, like he could breakdown. He was in the biggest state of disbelief ever. The disbelief that Jay couldn't have been shot. The disbelief that Would own brother was _shot_.

He knows it's happened to him before. But, Jay was one of the strongest guys ever.

Will knew Jay was strong. That didn't mean he wasn't human. Anything could happen.

Now, he just had to wait in anxious patience for another call back.

 _To be continued…_

 **Until next chapter! Love you, lovelies! Don't forget to review or PM me, thank you for reading!**


	22. Shrapnel

**A/N: Hello, lovelies! How is everyone? Jay centric episode the other week had me SHOOK. Anyways, here is a new chapter. It's been a while, I know. This might be a little short. I'm trying to make them as long as possible, but it's hard to do with the time periods changing every few chapters. I've been trying to write as much as possible. I've had some really exciting this happen ecently, but very ime consuming, but I don't forget about my babes on here!**

 **I hope you like this though! Please review and tell me what you think!**

 **Anything else you would like to read in this story? PM or review about anything you would like to see happen!**

 **Enjoy!**

" _Will…"_

 _He leaned against the counter, feeling like he wanted to buckle at his knees._

" _Hey, he's gonna be fine, alright?" Natalie assured him. He nodded, agreeing with her._

 _But, in his head, he felt like a wreck, like he could breakdown. He was in the biggest state of disbelief ever. The disbelief that Jay couldn't have been shot. The disbelief that Would own brother was shot._

 _He knows it's happened to him before. But, Jay was one of the strongest guys ever._

 _Will knew Jay was strong. That didn't mean he wasn't human. Anything could happen._

 _Now, he just had to wait in anxious patience for another call back._

 _To be continued…_

 **In Afghanistan:**

It was only a few hours later and nothing had been said about Jay's condition. He was still in surgery at the moment. Mouse had been fixed up, but was still in a bit of a critical condition.

He was transferred to an ICU area, where he rested at ease. Sheila felt like she couldn't leave his side, so she stayed there with him, sitting on a chair. She slipped her shoes off and put them on the chair with her body as she tried to relax and rest herself, too. Mouse slept peacefully on his side, comfortably curled up with one arm under the pillow where his head laid. His other arm was placed on a pillow in front of his chest so he could stay comfortable with his injured shoulder.

Things were like a train wreck in Sheila's brain. She couldn't believe any of this was happening. She never took in account that it could happen.

Jay was still in surgery and luckily Mouse wasn't awake to worry about it. But, if the surgery went wrong, what would happen then? It seemed like everything would would go black and gray. Everything would seem depressing, dreary, and unreal. For now, it was all waiting for answers and patiently praying for good news.

 **Hours Later:**

Finally, _finally,_ Jay was out of surgery. Mouse had rested through the whole thing, and was going to be relieved to hear that Jay was stable for now.

Mouse had woken up just as Sheila reentered the room, probably to wake him up and tell him the news.

"Hey, how you feeling, trooper?" She questioned in a soft tone. He looked at her for a moment, staring at her short beach-wave curled, black hair. Her beautiful blue eyes complimented her light and bright, clear skin.

"I'm alright." He smiled weakly.

"How's the arm?"

"It's sore, but I've had worse."

"That's my guy," she chuckled,"Jay's out of surgery, by the way." she said, as she pulled the chair up and sat down next to Mouse.

He listened to her words and felt more intrigued and he sparked with concern. He moved slowly onto his back and sat up, wincing a little, but Sheila was there to assist him in sitting up.

"Is he okay?" He questioned, finally sitting in upright.

"He's stable, yeah. Uh, but, he suffered a bullet to the chest and another to the abdomen. The one that hit his abdomen caused him to have a tension pneumothorax, or a collapsed lung. The bullet hit the bottom of his right lung.

"Unfortunately, some of the bullet broke of and pieced into his liver. The surgeon was able to get all the pieces out that he could find. We don't think it'll really cause a problem. We're just pretty focused on his lung. At the moment, he's on a ventilator to breathe for him while his right lung heals." she explained.

"What about the first bullet, to his chest?" He questioned further on.

"Luckily, it grazed just above his collarbone, didn't do much damage. It hit right into just empty space."

He nodded, a tad bit relieved from that one piece of information, but the rest of it was just denial, shock, and worry.

"When he wakes up, they want to send you and Jay to the hospital in Germany, once he's stable enough. They figure they'd keep you both there to recover, keep each other company until the end of the war. Then, they'd just send you back to Chicago from there."

"What about you?"

"Well, I'll just have to see you in Chicago, huh?" She smiled. She tried her best to make him feel better. What he was going through...what he and Jay were going through...it kind of hurt her heart. Literally.

 **In Chicago:**

Will tried his best to continue on with work. It was pretty late at night, so there were few people coming in and out of the ER. That's why he liked night shifts. But, any shift would be particularly hard at this point. He couldn't focus. He couldn't think. He could only focus on how Jay and Mouse were.

He caught the next phone call from the doctor at the field hospital just as he sat down comfortably in the swivel chair in the dark, peaceful break room off of the ER room. He took the ringing phone slowly and tiredly from his pocket. He felt like he'd overworked his hours. The limit was twelve hour shifts. He knew he didn't go over it, but it felt like it. He was physically worn out and exhausted from the waiting and anxiety he had to get the call. To finally get answers.

"Hello?" He questioned firstly.

" _Hello, Dr. Halstead. I just wanted to inform you on the Lieutenants' conditions."_

"Y-yeah. Yeah, I'm all ears, doc."

" _We were able to stitch up Greg's bullet wound, he's stable and has been for a while. Not, too long ago, Jay had gotten out of surgery. The good new is that the bullet he took to the chest was just above his collarbone. It didn't damage anything, it only caused that massive bleed. We were able to get that under control._

" _The bad news is that the bullet he took to the abdomen had hit the bottom of his right lung, causing a collapse, like I mentioned last call. But, pieces of the bullet had broken off on impact and had landed in his liver. We managed to dig out all the pieces we could find. It didn't seem to do much damage to his liver besides minor bleeds from where the pieces had been. At the moment, he's on a ventilator to help him breathe. He's still unconscious as far as now. He probably will be for a while."_

"O-Okay. Thank you for calling me so soon." He replied. It felt speechless really. It was kind of incredible to think about how much one tiny bullet could do so much damage. It was kind of mind-bending.

Will raised his eyebrows and furrowed them again as he fluttered his widened eyes along with his mouth that hung wide open in shock.

" _But, I wanted to inform you: once Jay is stable enough, we are going to transport him and Greg to the hospital in Germany. We're going to be keeping them there until the end of the war, which is just enough time for both of them to heal. That way they'll be out of harm's way, away from the warzone."_

"Okay, th-that sounds good. Thank you. Just be sure to call me if anything changes."

" _Anytime. I'll be sure to update you."_

And the call ended. Will pulled the phone away with a big, sharp inhale.

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there after that, shaking his leg anxiously. He didn't know if it was seconds, minutes, or hours that he sat there in the dark, thinking about his brother and how he wasn't by his side.

It lead to thinking about the times where he wasn't there for Jay. It kind of hurt to think about it. He was his big brother after all, and he tried to be there as much as he could. Now, the guilt was back.

His thinking was suddenly disrupted by the opening in front of him. He looked up, and tried acting casual, but when he realized it was just Natalie, he relaxed and remained sitting at the table.

"Hey," she said walking to her locker. He replied the same word, but nothing more, making her curious.

"Everything alright?" She questioned, him taking a moment to reply.

"...I have to go to Germany."

 _To be continued..._

 **Until next chapter! Love you, lovelies! Thank you for all the support on my stories!**

 **Please review or PM me about anything you would like to read in this story and how you liked the chapter! Thank you!**


	23. Germany

**A/N: Hello, my babes! Sorry for the wait on this chapter, it's definitely been a busy few weeks. I hope you like this one, I really do! I'm hoping to get my new stories up soon and another chapter of LDFTE as well.  
**

 **Enjoy, loves!**

 _And the call ended. Will pulled the phone away with a big, sharp inhale._

 _He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there after that, shaking his leg anxiously. He didn't know if it was seconds, minutes, or hours that he sat there in the dark of the break room, thinking about his brother and how he wasn't by his side._

 _It lead to thinking about the times where he wasn't there for Jay. It kind of hurt to think about it. He was his big brother after all, and he tried to be there as much as he could. Now, the guilt was back._

 _His thinking was suddenly disrupted by the opening in front of him. He looked up, and tried acting casual, but when he realized it was just Natalie, he relaxed and remained sitting at the table._

" _Hey," she said walking to her locker. He replied the same word, but nothing more, making her curious._

" _Everything alright?" She questioned, him taking a moment to reply._

" _...I have to go to Germany._

 _To be continued..._

Natalie turned around from making a coffee at the counter, her expression seeming stunned.

"Wh-What do mean?" She questioned.

"...Jay needs me. _They_ need me."

"Will, I-" She hesitated, seeing the ridiculousness of Will flying to Germany, but realized how much his brother and Mouse meant him,"Okay...When are you leaving?"

"I'm not sure, but I have to leave soon."

"You shouldn't go alone." She said. But she didn't mean her. She meant another someone. Someone who cared about Jay almost just as much. Erin.

"You should bring Erin. You haven't told her yet, have you?"

"No, I haven't told her yet. I...I don't know how to tell her. I-I just have to tell her. I _need_ to get to them."

 **At the District:**

As Intelligence wrapping up a quick chat about the case, Platt walked up the stairs to the bullpen, and right behind her a worried Will.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, Erin, Dr. Halstead." Trudy said, before nodding her head and turning around to exit down the stairs.

"Will?" Erin said, rising from her seat, seeing the demoralized and unsettled expression on his face. She looked at him and nodded her head to her left, motioning him into the break room with her.

They entered, and Erin closed the door after her. Will seemed in a panic as crossed his arms and covered his mouth with his hand, rubbing over the stubble on his chin.

"Will, what's going on? I-Is everything okay?"

"We need to go to Germany."

"Wh-What? Will, what are you talking about?"

"They're both hurt, they were both shot."

"Oh...oh my god…" Erin's face sparked a reaction of deep worry. She couldn't do any talking, let alone asking what happened.

"Mouse was shot in the shoulder, they said it's through-and-through. Jay was shot in the chest and in the abdomen. Th-They said his lung collapsed."

"...W-When do we leave?"

"Our tickets are already paid for. We just need to get on a plane. Soonest one is tomorrow afternoon, seven in the morning."

"Okay…" Erin nodded,"yeah, I'm coming."

"I'll pick you up around six."

 **The Next Day:**

 _ **2:00 p.m. in Germany, 7:00 a.m. in Chicago:**_

It was about time for Jay and Mouse to be taken over to the hospital in Germany. Jay still had woken up, but they were able to take the ventilator out of Jay's throat. He was able to breathe by himself. But, he still hadn't woken up yet. The lucky part is that he should soon, hopefully after they had reached Germany.

The risks of transporting an injured soldier overseas is that anything could happen at any moment while in flight. It was scary, but it was the only way to get them to better, more reliable care away from harm.

The helicopter had landed a few moments earlier near the field hospital. Not only are Jay and Mouse being transported, but several other injured soldiers were, too.

A bright side for the trip besides the worry if his brother, was that Mouse was told that Sheila was going to be one of the traveling doctors on the flight to Germany.

Erin and Will's flight was about eight hours, so they would get there after Jay and Mouse would arrive at the hospital.

 **Hours Later in Germany:**

 _ **7:00 p.m. in Germany:**_

Mouse woke up, laying on a makeshift bed in one of the sectioned off areas. Jay was just on a bed at the other wall across from him. He lay on his back with his left arm resting on a pillow next him. It helped relax the pain in his chest, near the shoulder.

His left hand rested on his abdomen, where a gauze and bandage were still wrapped around his torso from the wound.

His leg was bent slightly and his head was flat on the pillow, on its side, facing towards the wall.

He wore a rebreather oxygen mask in order to help him breathe independently, but without the ventilator.

Along with that, there was a heart monitor up on the wall, monitoring Jay's heart rate and blood pressure, etcetera. Every once in awhile, he'd be antibiotics or fluids.

After examining Jay and the dimmed lit room, he noticed he was positioned partially on his side, and his arm hung over the side of the bed. On the ground next to him, was Sheila, sleeping peacefully against the wall. And in his hand, was her's. Her elbow sat on her knee, and she was able to keep her hand gripped tightly in his.

He realized that they'd finally arrived in Germany. He didn't want to wake her, but he really wanted to hear her voice and see her beautiful eyes and smile.

"Sheila. Hey, hey, we're here." He said softly, and she finally opened her eyes and lolled her head towards Mouse. They locked eyes and she smiled sweetly as they both took time to wake up.

 **9:30 p.m. in Germany:**

Finally, they were in a real hospital. Jay could get better care, away from the harm that was near them in the warzone.

In the café, Mouse was finally on the phone with Will, and able to walk. It gave him relief to hear a voice from home that he hadn't heard in so long.

" _Hey, Mouse. It's good to hear from you."_ Will said happily.

"You too, man. I really needed to get some sanity back for a moment. I heard you're coming to Germany?" He said, with optimism in his voice.

" _Yeah, uh, Erin and I. We just got off the plane just a minute ago and you called. We'll be there soon."_

Mouse didn't reply, but Will could tell he was relieved about that, based off of his quiet bout of a laugh.

" _How's everything?"_ Will questioned furthermore.

"Well, uh... Jay's not...a-awake yet. I mean, they just got him off of the ventilator a while ago. We've been in Germany for a few hours and he's doing...okay. But, I wish he'd just...wake up."

" _I wish he was safe, in Chicago. I wish both of you were. I-I have to be honest I was a wreck when I got the call."_

"I bet…" Mouse scoffed, beginning to get lost in thought again. It seemed like minutes that he was lost in his mind.

" _Mouse? You okay?"_ Will said, pulling Mouse back to reality and out of his daydreaming. More like a nightmare.

"Y-Yeah, um," he said with a sigh, running his hand over his face as he swallowed vulnerably.

" _You sure you're alright?"_

"Yeah, I was just, um...I was thinking about...when everything happened...I was conscious when he was yelling for me to stay with him. When he was trying to save me...I was still conscious when he got shot..."

" _Mouse?"_

"God, he was trying to save me and I nearly got him killed! He hasn't even woken up yet…" He said, feeling himself trying to hold back sobs and tears that threatened to expel.

" _Hey, no, no. Mouse, it's not your fault. Don't put that on yourself. He'd do anything for you. Even taking those bullets."_

"I know, I just...I can't get it out of my head that it could have been...different. He wouldn't have been hurt…"

Mouse rested his head in his hand, getting a hold of himself. God, he felt like he was going insane.

But, it only got more chaotic, when he heard a call over hospital's loudspeakers. The voice announced a Code Blue to...Jay's room. Immediately, nothing felt right in Mouse's gut.

"Uh, Will, I'm gonna have to call you back." He said in a frenzy.

" _Mouse, what's going on?"_

"It's Jay…"

" _What happened? Mouse?!"_ He exclaimed, but it was too late before Mouse hung up the phone and ran off to Jay's room. It left Erin and Will in shock and questioning what was happening to their Jay.

He arrived at the end of the long corridor, seeing, not too far from him, there were medical staff rushing into Jay's room. He could hear the monitors beeping from where he was.

He quickly rushed to the room, meeting up with Sheila who stood waiting for him, right after she's walked out of Jay's room, just as other doctors rushed in. She was caught up in the frenzy, with her wide eyes and heavy, scared breath. The same as him.

He was near to asking what was going on _,_ just he turned his head to look at the scene in front of him. He didn't mind Sheila's hand on his shoulder as he examined what was in his eyes.

He could hear the beeping. But, it wasn't a regular beep.

It was a flat line…

"Wh-What happened?" He questioned, turning back to Sheila in a panic.

"I don't know just yet. But, he's gonna be fine, alright?" she assured him, but it seemed like he didn't hear a word.

He watched in horror as they stripped Jay's chest of its clothing and began to shock him, trying to get his heart back.

Mouse could see a dark spot on Jay's skin, almost like a bruise. It was internal bleeding.

His best friend...his brother...was dying. He was dead. He had no heart beat.

"No, no, no, he can't be…" Mouse said softly,"No, he was fine just an hour ago!"

He felt like he couldn't catch his breath. He felt like he was choking.

He really was losing his mind.

"Hey, you okay?" Sheila questioned, trying to pull him out of whatever he was in.

 _Snap out of it, damn it._ He thought.

"Mouse, come sit down." She coaxed. He allowed her to ease him towards the bench across from Jay's room.

The heavy breathing from the panic made him nauseous and lightheaded.

But, all of that was interrupted by a sharp pain in his shoulder, right where the gunshot wound had been. He slowly moved his hand to his shoulder and pulled it away to see blood coating his shaky hand. It soon began to drip down his palm. The stabbing pain got even worse as he winced and whimpered, beginning to clutch his shoulder.

"Damn, your stitches tore. I need some help!" Sheila called out.

The last thing he felt were hands helping him, a few more than just Sheila's.

Then, the world went black.

 **An hour later:**

Mouse woke up, feeling everything hurting.

Right, next to him was Sheila. Immediately she smiled at him and he did the same. He tried to sit up a little bit, but realised how much pain he was in, especially in his shoulder.

"Just take it easy, you're wound came open again. You blacked out."

"Damn." He said exhaustively.

"Troublemaker."

He grinned at her, then looked away, finally recollecting the event. But, then he remembered everything.

 _Oh my god...Jay...he-he's…is he? No, no, no, no...He can't be gone…_

"Jay? Is Jay okay?" Mouse questioned worriedly. He seemed frightened. It was his best friend that, in Mouse's mind, might have been dead right now.

"He's okay. They got his heart back. Turns out a piece of the broken bullet that they never found that was lodged in his liver caused a bleed, probably happened sometime while getting here. It caused internal bleeding that never came into effect until it spread over his lung, which caused it to collapse again. The blood got to the point where it was spreading over his heart, that's why he flat lined."

"How is he now?"

"He's stable. They were able to stop the bleeding and remove the blood and the extra piece of the bullet. They put him on a ventilator again, but it shouldn't be for too long."

"How was the bleeding so bad?"

"The one bleed stemmed out pretty quickly, causing other to tear open with it."

"He tried to save _me_ and this happened. He doesn't deserve this. Especially now with everything going on with him."

"Don't put this on yourself. He would do anything for you. And you the same. Just don't think about it. With you around, I know he'll get through it. Right?"

" ...Right." He smiled. He still didn't seem pleased with the situation, even though he knew Jay _was_ going to get through it.

"What's the matter?" She asked lightly, turning her head at Mouse's sad reaction.

"I, uh, hung up on Jay's brother pretty quick when I heard the call to Jay's room. I wonder how I'm gonna tell him and explain why I hung up on him so vigorously." He said, almost the opposite from upset. It seemed sort of funny, the whole situation, but it still bothered him how all of it was still real and serious.

"You'll get on the phone with him sooner or later. For now, you-"

"Need to rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah." He joked, smiling at her. She did the same back and stood up from her chair. She leaned forward and kissed Mouse's forehead.

"Do you know if Will's brother-"

"They're here, yeah. They're with Jay."

"I am allowed to walk?" He questioned, seeming desperate to see them both and Jay. Sheila looked at him, wanting to tell him no for the sake of his injury, and also for the sake of his sanity. Seeing Jay's condition would make him lose his mind.

"I'll have them come here, you shouldn't be up." Sheila insisted.

"Okay" He gave in, rolling his eyes with a grin as she got up out of her chair.

"I'll be back in a minute, okay?" She said, and he nodded back as she exited the room.

 _To be continued..._

 **Until next chapter! Love you, lovelies! Don't forget to review and tell me what you thought!**


	24. Author's Note

Hey, lovelies! Sorry for this not being a chapter, I just really need your opinions on something.

So, when I started writing my stories, I didn't know exactly where my stories were going, I wasn't the best writer. Then I got to a point where they were on a little hiatus and I've had them for so long. I want to give them a fresh start and update the old chapters. I wanted to ask you what you wanted me to do. Should I (option A) just update the chapters on the stories, or (option B) delete the stories completely and repost them from the beginning? I'm leaning towards deleting the stories and reposting them, but I don't want to leave y'all hanging at what I already have written, since these stories are still ongoing.

I need your help in deciding, it's crushing me.

Tell me what you think, loves!

Thank you!


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